From Time to Time
by Pollygw
Summary: Based on 'He Shall From Time to Time' Season 1, Episode 12 – filling in some of the 'gaps' and adding some more to the end of the episode!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Jed and Abbey Bartlet et al are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Thomas Schalmme, John Wells, NBC, and Warner Bros. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

**Rating:** Mainly PG, some NC-17 (will indicate in advance)

**Feedback:** Yes please!

**AN:** Many thanks to my 'beta readers' for their advice, suggestions and all the discussions about J and A's thoughts and feelings, also to LM for her advice on MS symptoms.

--

Even with the sirens and flashing lights, and the police outriders, there were still times when the capital's evening traffic forced the whole motorcade to slow down while Abbey was desperately wishing it would move even faster. She glanced at her watch. Twenty minutes now since she had taken the call, and then sent Lilly with the urgent message that she was disembarking from Air Force One and returning to the White House immediately.

Twenty minutes since her cell phone had rung and Jed's voice had said, "Abbey, there's a problem here–"

She'd laughed, totally unaware of what was coming. "And when isn't there?"

"No," he said, and his voice had dropped slightly, "no, I mean _I_ have a problem – I passed out in the Oval."

Her heart started racing. "What happened?"

"Well, I just got dizzy – and the next I knew I was coming to on the floor with all the staff around me."

Dear God, she thought. She'd suspected that morning that he was starting with a cold and had given him some echinacea and vitamin pills, but this was obviously worse than a cold. "Who's on duty?" she asked.

"Hackett. He thinks it's the flu. But he wants the works – blood, chest X-ray, cardiogram–"

"Cardiogram?"

"It wasn't a heart attack, Abbey – I just got dizzy."

"D'you have a fever?" She sensed Jed hesitating and asked again, "Jed, d'you have a fever."

"Yeah." Another pause. "101 point nine."

"Dear God." She said it out loud this time. "Where are you now?"

"In the bedroom – they told me I had to go to bed."

"I should damn well think so. Just get yourself in bed – and I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Abbey, I was only calling because I didn't want you to hear about it from anyone else – I'll be fine – there's really no need–"

"I'm cancelling the trip and coming back, Jed." When there was a silence, she felt a momentary streak of alarm. "Jed?"

"Yeah, okay," he said briefly. "Look, I gotta go – Hackett's coming up here any moment to take some blood – and I need to talk to Toby about–"

"Jed, just get in bed!"

"I _am_ in bed, sweet knees – ready and waiting for you!"

"Jed–" She started in exasperation, then heard the knock on the bedroom door.

"Uh-oh, they're here. Gotta go, honey."

The connection broke and Abbey turned to Lilly. "Get the car back here, Lilly – and tell the captain to stop the engines. I'm going back to the White House."

Lilly looked at her in surprise.

"Lilly, just do it, please. I'll explain when we're in the car."

Now they were just five minutes away from the White House, and her professional instincts had taken over from the initial panic. It could just be the flu. Even though he always had a flu shot in the autumn, the flu virus was highly variable and different strains became dominant without warning. That in itself wasn't a real problem – rest and anti-viral drugs could help to reduce the severity and speed up the recovery period. But in Jed's case, it was the associated fever that could cause the real problem – because it dramatically increased the chance of a flare-up of his MS symptoms.

As the motorcade turned on to Maine Avenue and passed the Tidal Basin and then the floodlit Washington Monument, Abbey breathed a sigh of relief. Nearly there...

In the bedroom, Jed put the phone down as Charlie, Leo and Admiral Hackett came in.

"How're you feeling, sir?" asked Hackett.

"Fine," Jed said, then caught sight of the sceptical look on Leo's face. "Okay – so maybe I _have_ felt better than this – but it's nothing a couple of Tylenol won't solve."

"Seriously, sir–"

Jed leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. His head felt as if it was on a different planet from the rest of him, and now he wanted to sleep more than anything else in the world. "Yeah – well, perhaps a limp lettuce would be a better description of how I feel right at this moment."

"I need to take your blood pressure, sir."

"Go ahead. Oh, and Leo–"

"Yes, sir?"

"Abbey's on her way back from Andrews – d'you think you could meet her and reassure her that I'm not on my death-bed?"

Leo's eyebrows raised in surprise. "She's cancelled her trip?"

"Yeah. I told her there was no need – but you know Abbey–"

"Yeah. Okay, sir, I'll meet her when she arrives."

He turned to go but Jed called him back. "Leo, keep me in the loop – India – and what the hell Pakistan is playing at–"

"Don't worry about that, sir – Fitz and the Chiefs are on the ball."

"Leo, I need to know–"

"Okay. But you need to get some rest, sir."

Once Leo had left, Jed surrendered himself to the doctor, answering what seemed like a million questions when all he really wanted to do was lie back against the pillows and sleep ...

--

When the car finally pulled up outside the portico, Abbey reached for the door even before the agent got there. Then, mindful of a group of tourists who were loitering in front of the railings, gawping then cheering and waving when they recognised her, she turned and gave a smile and a wave before she went into the entrance hall and then took the stairs up to the Residence rather than wait for the elevator.

Leo was waiting at the top of the stairs. "Abbey, he's okay, it's just the flu–" he began.

"What happened, Leo?"

Leo turned to follow her as she walked quickly through the second floor's Central Hall towards the bedroom. "Well, we all noticed that that he was pale and sweating when we were doing the run-through of the State of the Union – but he was laughing it off, said you'd given him some vitamin pills – then he went into the Oval to take them – and passed out..."

Abbey's eyes narrowed. "The run-through was scheduled for five thirty – what time did he faint, Leo?"

Leo glanced at his watch. "Well, I guess it must have been about six-thirty–"

"Damn him!" Abbey exploded.

Leo looked at her in surprise. "Abbey, it's just the flu–"

"And he called me twenty-five minutes later! For God's sake, Leo, where the hell was he all that time?"

"Well, we had to go to the Sit. Room–"

"You let him go to the Sit. Room after he'd collapsed?"

Abbey's voice had risen in anger and Leo just didn't know why she was so angry. "Abbey, he insisted – and he was okay – well, maybe not totally – but he had to meet with the Chiefs–"

Abbey drew in a deep breath. "Okay–" She forced herself to calm down. "Okay." They'd reached the bedroom door and she turned to give Leo a tremulous smile. "Sorry, Leo – I – I'm just worried about him."

"Yeah." But Leo's face remained creased in perplexity and she knew that his mind had already started asking questions.

Quickly she recovered herself. "Leo, Jed needs to rest tonight – so short of nuclear war breaking out–?"

"Okay. I'll deal with things, Abbey."

"Thanks."

Abbey turned and went into the bedroom. "Hello!" she said, more brightly than she actually felt.

"Hello," replied Jed's somewhat sheepish voice.

"Good evening, ma'am," Charlie said.

Abbey dropped her bags and coat on the chair. "Hey, Charlie – how you doing?" Then she turned to the grey haired naval officer.

"Ma'am, I'm Admiral Hackett. I was on duty when it happened."

He held out his hand and Abbey smiled as she shook it. "Good to meet you, Admiral." She looked back at Charlie again. "Charlie, would you mind getting my bag please?" Then she took the clipboard from the Admiral, put on her glasses and ran her professional eye over the medical details.

"Abbey–" Jed started. But he knew there was no stopping her once she was in doctor mode.

Abbey was still taking in all the facts and figures. "Now – 101 nine."

"Yes, ma'am."

"When's the last time you checked?"

"About an hour ago."

"Pulse and pressure?"

"The pressure dropped before he fainted, but it's coming back."

"105 over 70."

"Yes."

"I want to put him on an IV/saline and vitamin solution." Finally, she looked at Jed and smiled. "Hey – you still dizzy?"

Jed grinned a little. "I was wondering when you were gonna notice me!"

"Are you still dizzy?"

"No."

"He's lying." Jed suppressed a chuckle but Abbey went on, "Give him Flumadine, 100 milligrams, twice a day."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you, Admiral. Would you mind waiting outside for a minute?"

"No, ma'am." He turned to leave just as Charlie returned with her medical bag.

"Thanks, Charlie." She put the bag on the side of the bed and started to open it. "Charlie, would you mind waiting outside for a minute?"

"No, ma'am. Do you need anything?"

"No, thanks very much."

As the door closed behind Charlie, Jed looked her up and down. "You're very sexy when you're in doctor mode you know that? 'Give me an IV/saline solution and 100 milligrams of Flumadine. Stat.'" His eyes narrowed slightly. "I could jump you right now."

"I could kill you right now."

"My thing's more fun," Jed responded.

Abbey sat down on the side of the bed and started to check his eyes, noting at the same time that his forehead and cheeks were hot and clammy. "It took you twenty-five minutes to call me?"

"Fitzwallace called me in the Situation Room. There was more movement in Kashmir," he said wearily, hoping she was not going to make an issue of it. He was just too tired to fight with her tonight.

She stood up again, and started to prepare a syringe. "I don't care if Canada invaded Michigan, Jed. You call me!"

"Abbey–"

"Stop talking."

"I broke the Steuben glass pitcher in the Oval Office."

Her voice softened. "It's okay."

"Seriously – Abbey, I'm fine." It was his way of telling her that it wasn't a serious attack.

"You could've hit your head on something." Sitting down on the bed again, she gave him the shot and he winced and groaned slightly.

"But I didn't."

After she'd finished the injection, she took off her glasses and looked at him. Their eyes met and held with unspoken words between them. Suddenly they were husband and wife again, and no longer patient and doctor. Then she said gently, "Was it like the time in Nantucket?"

"Yeah." He couldn't even remember the time in Nantucket, but it was easier just to agree at the moment.

"Or was it like the time at my parents?"

He shook his head. "I really don't remember." He was too tired now to be bothered to think about it.

"It's all right." She brought her hand up to brush the hair back from his forehead. "Close your eyes. You're gonna be asleep in a minute."

Jed looked up at her. "Fitzwallace says the Pakistanis are giving command control to some nuclear weapons to the field."

He leant forward as she pulled the pillow from behind him and then thankfully he lay back.

"It's okay," she said, leaning over him and stroking his hair. "Leo's in the West Wing. Just go to sleep."

He looked up at her. "I'm really sorry about the pitcher. I was taking the pills you gave me."

"Just go to sleep, baby," she said as she leant forward to kiss his mouth gently.

"I could jump you right now." he said, closing his eyes and finally letting sleep claim him.

"Yeah, sure you could," were the last words he heard.

Slowly, Abbey sank down in the chair by the bed and blinked as the tears that she had been fighting back flooded to her eyes again. Although things looked considerably better than she had first imagined when he'd called her, she still wasn't certain that this wasn't going to lead to a full-blown MS attack. The Flumadine should fight the infection and bring down the fever – but fever, she knew, could trigger off an episode or – worse still – a major relapse. And if that happened?

She shuddered. It could rock the whole administration. The worst-case scenario was paralysis – but even with a lesser attack, it could still all have to come out into the open. And Abbey just didn't know how his staff – the country – even the world – would react.

They'd talked long and hard about it all at the beginning of his Presidential campaign – and made the decision, rightly or wrongly, to say nothing. Up to that point, his symptoms had been mild, and the Betaseron reduced the possible frequency of attacks. Even the minor episode he'd experienced during the campaign had been easily explained by an ear-infection. Outside of the family and the doctors and specialist involved in the original diagnosis, the only other person who knew was John Hoynes – because Jed had felt honour-bound to tell John when he'd asked him to be his running mate.

But if it all came out now? Abbey shook her head slowly. Their deception – and she could well see the press treating it as such – would be coupled with people's shock at seeing the effects of the disease on their President. Not only would he lose people's trust, he'd also be seen as an invalid – because MS was such a misunderstood disease.

Abbey put her head in her hands, feeling suddenly so alone. "Oh God," she whispered, "please let that damned fever come down."

She looked at her sleeping husband. His head had relaxed to one side as he slept, and he looked peaceful enough. But she was still aware of the sweat that glistened from his face and prayed again that he could sweat this thing out of his system before it led to anything else ...

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Suddenly remembering that she had asked the Admiral and Charlie to wait outside, Abbey stood up and went to the door, quietly opening it so as not to wake Jed and then stepping outside into the Hall.

"He's asleep," she told them. "I'll call you when he wakes, Admiral," she added, then turned to Charlie, "Charlie, I need to call my daughters – I don't want them to hear about this from someone else – so would you mind waiting inside with the President until I get back? I don't think he'll wake up for a while but–"

"Of course, ma'am. Um – there's a message here for him from Leo." He handed her a folded piece of paper.

"Is this a state secret?" Abbey asked.

"No, ma'am, it's all over the internet. Leo's gonna do a pre-emptive press conference tomorrow. They're working on it now."

Abbey's eyes widened. "A pre-emptive–? The internet?" Sudden panic rushed through her. "Charlie, what the hell are you talking about?"

Charlie looked at her in surprise. "Leo – and – and Sierra Tucson, ma'am."

"Oh!" Abbey let her breath out in a quick sigh of relief and then realised that she had over-reacted again. She had to stop doing that... "Yeah – yeah, that was inevitable, I suppose – once they got hold of the records. Is Leo okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good then. I'll call him later. Okay, Charlie, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Abbey went along to the sitting room next the Lincoln Bedroom, where she could be sure of total privacy. She spoke to Liz and Zoey, but had to leave a message on Ellie's voice-mail. It had been a relief to talk to Liz who, always practical, had asked her immediately whether it would affect Jed's MS. Abbey, in trying to reassure her that there didn't seem to be any indications of a major relapse, felt that she was reassuring herself at the same time. Zoey had been more emotional and Abbey had been warmed by her youngest daughter's response that she would come back to the White House immediately. "There's no need," she'd told her. "Your Dad's sound asleep – and sleep's the best thing for him right now."

When she went back into the bedroom, Charlie stood up automatically.

"Everything okay, Charlie?"

"Yeah, he's turned from one side to the other a couple of times, ma'am – but he's still out of it."

Abbey looked at Jed and saw that he'd turned into his customary position in bed, lying on his right side – and if she'd been there with him, he'd have his arm around her, resting just under her breasts.

"Oh, and he did mutter something when he turned over," Charlie continued, somewhat hesitantly. "Something about jumping – I couldn't make out what he said."

Despite herself and all her anxieties, Abbey couldn't help but start laughing inwardly. "I bet he did!" She looked at the young man. "It's okay, Charlie – I know what he was saying."

"Yes, ma'am." Charlie also knew exactly what the President had said, but was far too embarrassed to repeat it verbatim to the First Lady. "Um – it's okay if I go now, ma'am?"

"Yes, of course – and thanks, Charlie."

After he'd gone, Abbey approached the bed and put her hand gently on Jed's forehead. Still too hot, she thought. But there was still the hope that he could sweat it out...

She checked again that the air conditioning was on its coolest setting, then sat down on the sofa from where she could still see him, and pulled the reports from her flight bag that she had been intending to read on this evening's short flight to Trenton. She just hoped that the New Jersey Women Democrats would forgive her for not turning up at their Annual Dinner – 'for family reasons', she'd told Lilly to say. Now she gave a wry smile. Most women recognised that euphemism for family crises ranging from insignificant to major – but she wondered if it could actually be stretched to cover 'My husband could have a relapse with a disease that we haven't disclosed to the American public'? No, she thought with a quick shake of her head, I need to think more positively than that. She glanced across at Jed again. If only that damned fever world break!

--

"Abbey?...Abbey!..."

Abbey woke with a start, realising that she had dozed off and the report she had been reading had slid to the floor. She looked quickly at the bed, and was immediately wide awake when she saw that Jed was sitting on the edge.

She jumped up. "What on earth are you doing?" Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was almost midnight, so at least he had slept for over four hours.

He gave her a tired grin. "I was gonna get some dry pajamas – these are saturated. I must have been sweating hard – but I still feel too woozy to stand up."

"Stay there," she ordered, and went across to his closet, returning with a pair of sweatpants and T-shirt. "Okay, let me get your top off. Oh yuck," she said, as she put her hand on his chest. "You're right. You really are soaked."

She reached past him to feel the sheet. "And so's this sheet," she added. "Okay, action stations. If I pull this chair right up to the bed, think you can transfer yourself on to it?"

He looked at her under his lashes. "You mean you're not gonna do a fireman's lift on me?"

"Very funny!" She pulled the chair up and helped him lift himself from the side of the bed on to the chair. "Now get that top off." Reaching for her medical bag, she pulled out her thermometer and went into the bathroom to rinse it and to collect a towel and damp sponge too.

"Bed bath next, is it?" Jed said with a grin when she went back to the bedroom.

"Open up!" she said, and he obediently opened his mouth for the thermometer. Then, as she started to sponge his shoulders and chest and then dry him with the towel, he leaned back against the chair, and murmured, "Mmm – nice."

"Stop talking – or you'll break that thermometer and give yourself mercury poisoning," she warned him. Then as she waited a minute or so for his temperature to register, she stroked back his damp hair, at the same time holding his wrist so that she could feel his pulse. Breathing okay, she thought, pulse still a little fast, his forehead still warm – but it did feel slightly less hot than before... She pulled out the thermometer and looked at it. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Better than I did earlier. What's it say?"

"Any – other effects?" Abbey asked, trying to make the question casual.

His eyes met hers and she knew that he knew what she meant. "No," he said, "no, I'm okay. My head's not quite attached itself back to the rest of me – but that's all. Honestly, Abbey," he added as he saw the doubt in her eyes.

"Okay. And the other good news is that it's gone down a little – 101 one. Hackett can give you some Flumadine tomorrow which should help. Here, can you manage to put this T-shirt on? I'll change the sheets–"

It only took her a few minutes to strip the bed of the damp sheets and replace them with fresh cotton sheets. Then she helped Jed back on to the bed again and pulled his pajama pants off. Her green eyes suddenly glinted with amusement as she looked down at him. "Well, I guess I could give you a quick rub-down here too – but I'm not running the risk of sending your temperature sky-high again. So here–" she handed him the sponge and towel.

Jed grinned back at her. "Spoilsport. 101-one – and I'm still good to go!"

"And get all sweaty again? Forget it – I only date boys with normal temperatures!"

After she'd helped him to pull on the dry sweatpants and pulled up the crisp cotton sheet, she sat down on the side of the bed. "Feeling better now?"

"Feeling drier anyway," Jed commented. "But I'm thirsty."

"Yeah." Abbey reached for the flask of water she'd left earlier on the night stand and poured some into a glass. "Here." As Jed started to sip it, she went on, "No, drink it, Jed – you've lost a lot of fluid, you need to replace it otherwise you're gonna get dehydrated."

"And if I then want to pee – and I'm too wobbly to get to the bathroom?"

"Yeah, well, I'm sure we can find an antique vase somewhere in this joint!"

Jed started laughing. "Dolley Madison is probably turning in her grave right now at the thought of that." Then his face went serious again. "Any messages from Leo? Pakistan?"

Abbey hesitated. "No – things must have stayed quiet there–"

"But?"

"How did you know there was a 'but'?"

"Your face said it."

Abbey nodded. "Yeah."

"Abbey, what are you not telling me?"

"Well, at the risk of sending your temperature up again – Leo's Sierra Tucson record is in the public domain – it's on the internet."

Jed's face creased in sudden anguish. "Oh God."

"Yeah."

"So what're they doing about it?"

"Leo's gonna do a pre-emptive press conference tomorrow."

He nodded. "I need to be there."

"Jed, you have the flu–"

"I need to be there."

"Okay, we'll see how you are in the morning. You ready to go to sleep again?"

"You coming to bed too?"

"Yeah."

By the time Abbey had been for a shower, Jed was asleep. She slid into the bed beside him and, true to form, he turned over in his sleep and slipped his arm around her...

--

Abbey grabbed the phone when it rang at 6.30 a.m. "Okay, Lilly – thanks," she said softly into the phone. Easing herself out of bed carefully so as not to wake Jed, she looked down at him, and her heart contracted. He was still sleeping soundly – and, with his tousled hair falling over his forehead and his face so relaxed, he looked almost boyish. It was a look that always turned her on – but this morning she had to ignore the sudden yearning inside her. Instead, she put her hand very gently against his forehead. Definitely cooler, she thought – but they weren't out of the woods yet.

By the time she'd showered and dressed, it was seven fifteen and she had a breakfast meeting with her staff at seven thirty. Seeing that Jed was still asleep, she wrote a note – in large writing so that he'd be able to see it without having to find his glasses – saying 'I'll be back soon. Do NOT try to get up!'

Once she had reached her office, she called Charlie. "Charlie, the President's still asleep – and I've told the agents not to let anyone in the bedroom except you. You're gonna be the first one he will call – so if he does, would you go up there and wait with him until I get back?"

"Yeah, will do, ma'am. Er – any idea how long you will be?"

"About half an hour."

"Okay. What about Admiral Hackett?"

"Leave him to me. I'll call him once the President's awake."

"Okay, ma'am."

"Oh – and Charlie, what time is Leo's Press Conference?"

"I'm not sure, ma'am, but I can find out."

"Thanks, Charlie."

Abbey then forced herself to concentrate on her staff talking about their follow-up to the State of the Union, Heart Truth month and her forthcoming trip to Argentina, while they supped coffee and demolished a plate of bagels.

It was just after eight o'clock when the phone rang. Lilly picked it up, then handed it to Abbey. "It's Charlie," she said.

"Hey, Charlie," Abbey said.

"The President has just called," Charlie said. "He says he'll be down in the office in half an hour."

Abbey stood up. "It's okay, Charlie. I'm on my way. And can you get the kitchen to send some breakfast for him?"

"Yeah. And the Press Conference is scheduled for nine thirty. CJ, Sam and Josh are going through it with him now."

"Okay, thanks, Charlie." Putting the phone down, she turned to the staff. "I'm sorry. I have to leave. Lilly, can you take over – and then let me know–"

"Yes, of course," Lilly replied.

It only took Abbey a few minutes to get from the East Wing back to the Residence. As the agents opened the bedroom door for her, she saw immediately that Jed was sitting up in bed and was already on the phone.

She waited, hands on hips, until he put the phone down – and then he looked round at her, his face a picture of mock-innocence. "What?" he asked.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Talking to Toby about the speech." He grinned suddenly. "My orders were to stay in bed – which, as you can see, I have obeyed – but there were no orders not to use the phone!"

Abbey gave a sigh of exasperation. "Jed, you have the flu–"

"I still have a brain and a voice – and the State of the Union is tomorrow night, in case you've forgotten."

"Okay." Abbey relaxed slightly. "How _are_ you feeling?"

"Much better than yesterday."

Abbey picked up her medical bag and walked round the bed. Taking out the thermometer, she held it out to him.

"Oh God, do we have to?"

"Yes," she said firmly.

"Okay."

Jed opened his mouth for the thermometer and gave her a comical look as she climbed on to the bed beside him to wait for it to register. She pulled her stethoscope out of her bag and put it round her neck.

Eventually, she pulled the thermometer out and looked at it. "Well, the good news is your temperature's gone down."

"Can I go to the office?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It hasn't gone down enough, and it's gonna go back up again."

"Why?"

Abbey resisted the temptation to tell him that he sounded like a five year old asking if he could go out to play. She put the earpieces of her stethoscope to her ears. "'Cause you have the flu." Pushing him forward slightly, she put her hand on his shoulder as she put the chest piece to his back and listened.

Jed leaned forward, his arms stretched out in front of him. "Here's the thing though," he said casually, "I never really saw you study while you were in med school."

Abbey ignored him. "Deep breath," she ordered.

"Do you even know what you're listening for right now?" He still took the breath she'd demanded.

"Do you know how many other people I could have married?" Abbey retorted, half exasperated with him – but half relieved that he was well enough to banter with her, as he always did when she was in what he called 'doctor mode'.

Jed let out his breath again. "How many?"

"Shhh," she said as she continued to listen, and then breathed an inward sigh of relief herself that there were no signs of any chest infection and that they could rule out pneumonia.

"I'm going to the office," Jed said.

Abbey finished with the stethoscope. "Okay," she said lightly.

He looked round at her in surprise. "Really?"

She waved her arm casually. "Feel free!"

Then she watched him, knowing full well that he wasn't going to get far – but knowing too that he had to find it out for himself.

"Okay," he said, pushing the blanket to one side and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

Abbey permitted herself a small smile when he tried to stand up, wobbled a bit and then sat down again, saying "Uh-oh!"

"Anything else?" she asked lightly.

Jed lifted himself back on to the bed again and grimaced. "All right. I think I'll stay here for a little bit."

"Okay," she said, as she flung the blankets back over his legs again.

Then she looked at him. "Stop trying to be super-human, Jed. You've got the flu – it'll take time."

"Yeah." He leaned back against the pillow with a sigh. "But Leo's gonna be doing that Press Conference this morning – and I should be with him."

"CJ and the staff are with him – and he'll do fine." She glanced at her watch. "Charlie said the Press Conference is at nine thirty. He's also sending up some breakfast for you."

"I'm not hungry," Jed said.

"Okay – but you can see if there's anything you fancy when they bring the cart."

"Yeah," Jed hesitated for a moment then looked at her. "You're still scared, aren't you, Abbey?"

Her eyes held his. "Yes," she admitted. "Jed, you still have a raised temperature – and fever can–"

"I know." He looked away and then said quietly, "I was scared too. Last night – when I called you – when I said I was just calling so you wouldn't find out about it from someone else – I was lying."

"I know. Why the hell do you think I came back?"

He gave her a small smile. "I needed you back here, Abbey – I needed you because I just didn't know if it was gonna trigger something else–"

"It still could, Jed – your temperature's not right yet."

"Oh God, don't say that." He hesitated again. "Hackett wants me to go to Bethesda for tests–"

"I think I can probably dissuade him. There's no reason to suspect a heart attack – and I'm sure it's not pneumonia either."

"But would a chest X-ray–?"

Abbey shook her head. "No. Come on, Jed, you have a check-up every month – and a full medical every six months, you know that MS doesn't show up in ordinary medical tests. It needs a full MRI or MRS scan – and even then it can be missed."

Jed nodded and then sighed. "It's like living on a knife-edge sometimes, isn't it – waiting and wondering if someone's gonna find out?"

Abbey turned to him. "We made that decision, Jed – we decided to say nothing – we knew then and we know now that the whole thing could come back and hit us in the face."

"Yeah." Then he gave her his small grin. "But maybe not this time, huh?"

She put out her hand to take his. "I'm just keeping everything crossed at the moment – but the doctor in me won't relax until your temperature's back to normal again."

Jed turned to kiss her – a soft kiss that suddenly became harder – until a knock at the door announced the arrival of the breakfast cart.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Contrary to what he had said, Jed did manage to eat some breakfast, albeit only a small yogurt and a glass of fresh orange juice. Abbey stayed with him while they watched TV and listened to the pundits on C-SPAN speculating on what was going to be in the State of the Union speech.

"If they carry on like this," Jed commented at one point, "I won't need to go to the Hill tomorrow night – they'll have said it all, and I can stay home and watch softball on ESPN instead."

"You might just be doing that," Abbey replied.

He looked at her in surprise. "You're not serious?"

Her eyes met his. "Of course I am. If your temperature doesn't go down in the next twenty-four hours, you're going to have to think about postponing–"

"No way."

"Jed–" Abbey stopped and sighed. "No, I haven't time to argue about this one now. I have a meeting with – oh God, I've forgotten who with – but it's at nine o'clock." She glanced at her watch. "I need to go down to the office. You want Charlie to come up here?"

"It's okay. I'll call him."

"And I'll call Admiral Hackett – you need some Flumadine – I could give you some, but it's better if he does that."

They both looked round when there was a knock on the door. "Yeah?" Jed called out.

It was Sam who came in. "Good morning, Mr President. How're you feeling?"

"Much better, Sam, thanks. What've you got for me?"

Abbey's eyes narrowed slightly. "I hope this isn't work, Sam?"

Sam shook his head. "No, ma'am – it's – well, it's personal."

"Oh – right." Abbey stood up and looked back at Jed. "I'll come back for the press conference at nine thirty, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

When she'd gone, Jed turned back to Sam again. "What is it, Sam?"

Sam hesitated for a moment. "Leo would kill me if he knew I was here – but – well, I wrote a Presidential statement of support for him."

Jed nodded. "Yeah." He reached for his glasses from the nightstand. "Let me see it."

There was silence for a few moments as Jed read what Sam had written. It was polished and eloquent – but not sufficiently personal. "Will you leave it with me, Sam? I'd like to add something more to it."

Sam nodded. "Of course, sir."

Jed shrugged slightly. "And then if Leo wants to kill anyone, he can come and kill me first." Sam suppressed a grin and Jed went on, "How is he?"

"He's okay, sir – we've been through it with him. He'll handle the press fine."

"But he's insisting on going it alone?"

"Yes, sir. He was mad at me when he knew I'd written this."

"So he can be mad at me too. I'll send it down with Charlie when I'm done."

"Yes, sir."

After Sam had left, Jed called Charlie, then turned his attention back to the television. Bored with C-SPAN, he started to flick through the channels.

"Charlie," he said, when the young man came into the bedroom, "what the hell is this programme?"

Charlie looked towards the television screen. "It's Jerry Springer, sir."

"And are these people real?"

Charlie grinned. "Some people think they're out-of-work actors, paid to stir things up. But yeah, people go on his show to talk about their problems – and then he confronts them with the people who have caused the problems."

Jed glanced again at the screen. "And then they start fighting?"

"Yeah – and throwing chairs and whatever else they can find."

"And viewers find this entertaining?"

Charlie shrugged. "I guess so." Then he grinned. "Springer tried to get the Democratic nomination for Governor of Ohio once – and he also ran for Congress."

"He failed?" Jed asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Thank God – there're enough problems in Congress without people throwing chairs at each other. Though actually – thinking about that – there're a few I'd like to throw a chair at sometimes."

Charlie grinned again. "Yes, sir."

"Okay – enough of that," Jed said, clicking the mute switch on the remote. "What've we got this morning then, Charlie?"

"Admiral Hackett is coming up in a few minutes – the First Lady's asked him to give you some Flumadine."

"Yeah. Just hope he doesn't want to drag me off to Bethesda – but Abbey's probably put the fear of God in him, anyway. You got stuff there for me to sign–?"

--

Shortly before nine-thirty, Jed sent Charlie down to the West Wing with Sam's statement, to which he had added his own personal comments of support for his friend. "Tell Sam that this goes to the press – and all round the West Wing too," he told Charlie. "It needs the widest circulation possible – and that's an executive order."

Charlie gave him his broad smile. "Yes, sir."

Jed had just flicked back to C-SPAN when Abbey came back in. "Has the Admiral been up here yet?"

"Yeah, I got my tablets," Jed said, indicating the small plastic container on the night stand. "'Twice a day', he said."

""You've taken one?"

"Yeah."

"And he's not sending you to Bethesda?"

"How did you manage that?" Then he grinned. "No, you don't need to answer that – the poor man didn't have a chance, huh?"

Abbey shrugged a little as she sat down on the chair by the bed. "I just said what I thought."

Jed started laughing. "Yeah, I bet!"

"Turn the sound back on, Jed – Leo's due on any minute."

Together they watched as Leo came into the Press Room and stepped up to the podium. As he started, Abbey reached out to Jed's hand and held it as they watched and listened. Glancing at him as he tightened his hand round hers, Abbey saw the raw emotion on his face and in his eyes, and squeezed his hand. But Jed's eyes never wavered from the man on the screen.

Once Leo had finished the prepared speech and the questions started, Jed's grip on Abbey's hand tightened even more. But finally it was over – and as Leo stepped down from the podium, Abbey looked round at Jed again. His head was bowed, and she could see that he was biting his lip.

"He did good, Jed," she said gently.

Jed drew in a deep breath. "Yeah," he said briefly. Then he raised his head and Abbey could see that his eyes were glistening. "I should have been there for him."

"He knows that you were, Jed."

"No – I mean I should have been standing beside him."

"He had to do this himself."

Jed shrugged a little. "Yeah, I guess." Then he looked at her. "Sam wrote a Presidential statement of support."

"That's why he came up here?"

"Yeah – I added my comments and told him to get it to the press."

Abbey smiled and squeezed his hand again. "Good." Then she reached for her medical bag and brought out the thermometer.

Jed groaned. "Not again!"

"Humour me."

"God, who'd be married to a doctor?" But, with a sigh, Jed opened his mouth again.

"I have to go down to the office again," Abbey said, "but I'll go see Leo too. Is Charlie coming back up here?"

"Mmm." It was the only thing Jed could say with the thermometer still in his mouth.

"So how are you feeling now?"

Jed shot her an expressive look and pointed to the thermometer. When she took it out, he was able to say, "Fine – I already told you, much better than yesterday." Then he looked at her. "What's it say?"

"Hundred point nine – it's coming down slowly. But you've gotta pace yourself, Jed – otherwise it'll shoot up again."

He nodded. "Yeah, okay."

She glanced at her watch. "Look, I have to go – but have Charlie call me if–"

"Abbey, I'll be fine – stop worrying."

Her eyes met his. "Stop giving me an executive order that I can't possibly obey."

He grinned at her. "All right."

She leant forward and brushed her lips against his. "I'll come back up as soon as I can."

When she'd gone, Jed leant back against the pillows, thinking about Leo – replaying in his mind the whole of the press conference he had just watched, and wondering just how his friend had been able to stay so calm, even when the press had been firing questions at him. Jed's lips tightened – they were trying to tear him down, and he should have been there with him. But at the same time he knew that Leo would have insisted on going it alone – that he was determined that if he went down, he was not going to take anyone else down with him. And then he wondered just how Leo was going to react over Sam's statement of support. With a sigh, Jed closed his eyes – 'God, Leo,' he thought, 'if it wasn't for this damned flu, I'd have been there standing by your side, not just adding sentences to a support statement–'

When Charlie arrived in the bedroom, he stopped for a moment, realising that his boss was asleep. Then, with a small smile, he sat down on the chair by the bed. Okay, he could wait – there was nothing urgent that he needed to bother the President with right now...

--

After her eleven o'clock meeting with representatives from the Congressional task force on health reform, Abbey found that she had a gap in her schedule.

"I'm going to the West Wing," she said to Lilly.

"You have a meeting with Senator Hewitt at twelve thirty – community clinics in Ohio."

"Yeah, it's okay. I'll be back by then."

She lost count of how many times she had to say 'Much better' as she walked through the West Wing and people said 'How's the President?' Even when she reached Margaret's office, she was faced with the same question.

"Much better," she said with a smile. "Is Leo in, Margaret?"

"Not at the moment. I think he's gone to see Sam."

"Okay, I'll wait."

"Mallory's waiting for him too, ma'am."

"Mallory?" Abbey turned and went into Leo's office. "Mal, how lovely to see you again!"

"Hey Abbey!" Mallory stood up and hugged her. "How's the President?"

Abbey laughed. "Much better – and if I had a dollar for every time I've said that this morning, I'd be rich. More to the point, how's your Dad?"

"Did you watch?"

"Yes, of course."

"He did okay, didn't he?"

"Mal, he did more than okay. He did superbly well."

Mallory nodded. "Yeah. I was so proud of him, Abbey."

"We all are, Mal."

"And the President's statement – that's just so good."

"I've not seen it yet – but Jed added his own comments to Sam's draft."

"Sam wrote it?" Mallory looked at her in surprise and then Abbey saw her colouring up.

"Ah–ah!" she said with a knowing grin.

"Abbey–" Mallory started to protest.

"You've got an itch for Sam Seaborn." Abbey said teasingly.

"I do not have an itch!"

"A little itch!"

"Abbey? You–"

Abbey looked at her. "Want a nickel worth of free advice?"

Mallory grinned. "Sure."

"Don't go for the geniuses." She smiled. "They never want to sleep!"

They were both laughing when Leo walked in. "Hey!" he said.

"Oh, Leo, hi." Abbey put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't take you away from something."

"Oh, no – no, no." Leo turned to his daughter. "Mallory, would you mind...?"

"I do not have an itch!" Mallory insisted, looking at Abbey again.

Leo looked confused. "Mallory?"

Mallory picked up her coat from the back of the chair. "I'm going!"

She leant forward and Abbey kissed her cheek. "Bye, sweetie."

As Mallory turned to kiss her father and then went out, Abbey stood up and moved herself to the couch, gearing herself up for what she had to say to Leo.

She leant back against the couch and looked up at him with a smile. "You did good today."

"Thank you."

"Mallory's very proud of you."

Leo shrugged slightly. "Well–"

"Leo–" Abbey forced herself upright again, and tried to speak casually, "I came by because I wanted to ask – do you think there's a huge downside to postponing for a few days?"

"Did his fever go back up?"

She shook her head. "No, it's going down."

"Abbey?" Leo frowned. "What's going on?"

Abbey looked at him, hoping that her face wasn't giving her away. "Nothing – uh – like I say–"

Leo was still looking askance at her. "What should I know that I don't know?"

She tried to ignore her quickening heartbeat. "I just thought we should be on the safe side–"

"Why'd you cancel your trip?"

"Because he–"

"Because the President has a temperature." Leo shook his head slightly. "The President's not in nursery school."

Abbey forced herself to look straight at him. "Look, if it's a problem to postpone–"

"It's not a problem to postpone. Of course I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the President's health." He moved to sit down across from her. "What I'm saying–"

Abbey's heart was beating even faster now. "Leo, please–"

She made to stand up but Leo stopped her. "Hey, hey, hey – this is me." His eyes met hers and his voice was suddenly so full of concern that she felt the tears rush unexpectedly to her eyes. "This has happened before – I see you trying to cover the panic – I see you prescribing medication. I think you're giving him shots. What does he have he can't tell people?"

Abbey looked at him for a long moment, longing to confide in him, to have someone to share all this with. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. "He has the flu," she said as firmly as she could, knowing at the same time that it didn't sound convincing.

"Oh–!" Leo exclaimed in frustration. "You would NOT have come back for the flu, Abbey."

"He fainted–" She had to swallow hard. "He was running a fever–"

"Abbey?"

She looked at him, saw his face change from frustration to total consternation, saw almost fear in his eyes and knew that she had to tell him. Her voice choked as she said it. "He has multiple sclerosis, Leo."

She saw the shock on his face. "Oh, Abbey–" he whispered.

"A fever could be life threatening–"

She struggled to hold back her tears, but as Leo reached out to take her hands in his, a tear slid down her face.

Leo was still stunned. "Abbey – why didn't – when – oh God–"

Quickly, Abbey wiped the back of her hand across her cheek. "I shouldn't have told you, Leo. Only the family and the doctors know. We – he–" Then she shook her head and heaved a sigh. "No, I guess you need to talk to Jed now, don't you?"

Leo was silent for a few moments. "Yeah," he said eventually.

She glanced at her watch. "I have a meeting at twelve thirty. Can I use your phone? I – I think I owe it to Jed to tell him just why you're coming to see him."

"Yeah." Leo stood up and started towards the door while Abbey moved round his desk to the phone.

As he reached the door, she looked across at him. "Leo–"

He turned. "Yeah?"

She saw that his shock had turned to something else – hurt, betrayal, anger – maybe even panic too. "Go easy on him, Leo," she said quietly.

He looked at her and then went out. Leaning on the closed door behind him, he heaved a huge sigh. "God, what an almighty mess," he whispered to himself.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

It was Charlie who answered the phone.

"Can I speak to the President, Charlie?" Abbey said.

"Um – he's in the bathroom, ma'am."

"He got up?"

"Yeah. He was asleep when I got here – but when he woke up he needed–"

"Okay. And he's not dizzy?"

"Well, he was a bit unsteady to start with – but then he was fine." Charlie thought it better not to tell her that the President had swayed alarmingly when he first got out of bed and that he'd had to hold him up for a minute or so. But then he'd recovered and made his own way to the bathroom – to Charlie's intense relief. Stopping the President from keeling over was one thing, holding him up while he peed would have been an altogether different experience. "Uh – he's coming back now."

"Don't rush him, Charlie."

Charlie looked across at the President who seemed a lot steadier on his feet now. "It's the First Lady, Mr President."

"Yeah, okay." Jed reached the bed and sat down on the side, then took the phone from Charlie. "I'm fine, Abbey – the dizziness is gone–"

"Jed, I–" Abbey stopped, suddenly choked up again as she thought of those few minutes with Leo.

Jed's face changed, knowing immediately that something was wrong. He covered the mouthpiece and said quickly '"Charlie, would you mind–?" The young man understood and went out of the room.

As soon as he'd shut the door, Jed spoke into the phone again. "Sorry, I was asking Charlie to leave. What is it, Abbey? What's the matter?" There was a moment's silence. "Abbey?"

"I – I had to tell him, Jed."

"Tell who? What?"

"I had to tell Leo – about the MS."

This time it was Jed who was silent.

"Jed?"

Jed let out the sharp intake of breath that he'd involuntarily sucked in. "Yeah – okay," he said, far more calmly than he felt. "What happened?"

"He knew it was more than flu – he knew I wouldn't have cancelled just for that – he knew there was something more. He knew that I was giving you shots–"

"So what did you tell him?"

"Just – just that you have MS."

Jed nodded slowly. "Okay." His mind was suddenly working overtime, trying to take in the implications of what she had said.

"Jed, I didn't mean to, I tried not to, but–"

"No – no, it's okay – it's okay, sweetheart." He knew how upset she was – her voice said it all. "We knew this was gonna happen one day."

"He wants to come up and see you."

"Right." Jed drew in a deep breath. "Yeah, that's fine." Then his face creased slightly. "Abbey, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said, then gave a half-laugh. "Yeah – I guess I'm just kicking myself now for being an emotional idiot."

Jed smiled into the phone. "I love emotional idiots."

"Oh stop it, or I'll start crying again."

"Again?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

"Yeah, well – look, I'm okay now – but I have to go to a meeting. I'll come up afterwards – then we can talk?"

"Yeah. Love you," he whispered into the phone.

After he'd put the phone down, he was still for a few minutes, his mind trying to work through all the possible ramifications of Leo finally knowing about his MS. He wished now that he'd asked Abbey what Leo's reaction had been – and then at least he would have known what to expect when Leo came up to the Residence. But at the same time, he knew it anyway. Leo had been honest with him about his alcoholism and drug addiction – and Jed knew that his own lack of honesty was going to be the thing that would hit Leo the hardest. He heaved a sigh, knowing that it had to happen one day – wishing in one moment that today was not that day, but in another moment almost relieved that his best friend finally knew the truth.

He looked round when there was a knock at the door. "Yeah?"

Charlie came in with a food tray and Jed groaned. "Oh God, not more food."

"It's just soup and a bread roll, Mr President – and a fruit salad."

Jed lifted himself back on the bed and pulled the covers across. "Okay. What sort of soup?"

"Think it could be vegetable, sir. The First Lady ordered it for you."

Jed looked down at the tray that Charlie put in front of him and made a face. "Well, I guess she's got to find some way of getting fruit and vegetables into me."

Charlie grinned. "Yes, sir."

Jed flicked the TV remote, sighed when he saw that C-SPAN was analysing and re-analysing Leo's Press Conference and flicked through the channels. Anything to take his mind off the impending discussion with Leo, which he wasn't at all sure how he was going to handle.

The soup was better than he'd anticipated and the bread roll was fresh and warm. "You know, I'm actually enjoying this, Charlie," he said.

"You want me to report that to the First Lady, sir?" Charlie said with another grin.

"God, no – if she thinks I'm developing a taste for vegetable soup, she'll be ordering it for me every day! Or Mrs Landingham will – she's always telling me I don't eat enough vegetables. But I think I've got an aversion to anything green – especially green beans."

"You don't like green beans?"

"I hate green beans – I've always hated green beans – ever since I was at school and they made me eat a disgusting green bean fritter!"

"Okay."

Jed looked back at the TV screen, watched and listened for a few minutes then frowned. "I don't understand. Don't any of these characters have jobs?"

Charlie looked at the screen. "I don't know, Mr President. I think one of them is a surgeon."

"They seem to have a lot of free time in the middle of the day."

The phone rang and Charlie picked it up. "Hello?"

"And that woman's changed her clothes quite a lot for one afternoon," Jed went on.

Charlie put the phone back and looked at him. "Mr President, Mr McGarry's outside."

Jed's face stilled. "Yeah." Then he looked at his body man. "Would you mind stepping out, Charlie?"

"No, sir." Charlie stood up and Jed clicked the remote to turn off the TV.

As Charlie left, Leo came in and walked across the room. Only when he reached the side of bed could Jed look up at him and then saw the reproach in Leo's eyes.

He tried to keep his voice normal and unemotional. "Abbey phoned me up and told me about your conversation. I was diagnosed about seven years ago. My life expectancy is normal. My particular course of MS is relapsing-remitting, which means I should experience total recovery after attacks. Abbey gives me injections of something called Betaseron, and that reduces the frequency. Fever and stress tend to be two things that induce attacks."

Leo's face didn't change. "Well, you're the President of the United States, you're delivering the State of the Union tomorrow night, India and Pakistan are pointing nuclear weapons at each other, and you have a 102-degree fever" His voice rose, almost angrily. "So I guess we're out of the woods, hmm?"

"101 point nine," Jed said, trying to defuse Leo's anger.

"Jed – of all the things you could've kept from me–" Leo said as he sat down by the bed.

That was Jed's undoing. "You haven't called me Jed since I was elected," he said, his voice starting to break.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Jed looked away, struggling now. "Because I wanted to be the President." He looked down, biting his lip and feeling the lump in his throat.

"That wouldn't have stopped me from getting you here. And I could've been a friend."

He nodded. "You've been a friend."

"But when it was time to really–"

"I know."

"When I was lying on my face in the motel parking lot, you were the one I called."

Jed winced, not wanting to be reminded of that horrendous night. Instead, he glanced across at the TV screen, choked up now. "When you stood up there today, I was so proud. I wanted to be with you."

"Nah," Leo breathed. "Nah."

"I tried to get up, but I fell back down again."

"I know the feeling," Leo said dryly.

Despite himself, Jed gave a small chuckle and then fought back the tears that suddenly threatened to overwhelm him. "I'm so sorry, Leo – I really am–" He glanced round quickly when there was a knock at the door, but then had to look down again.

"Mr President?" said Charlie from the door.

"Don't worry about it," Leo said quietly.

"Yeah, Charlie?" Jed said without looking round.

"Lord Marbury."

"Yeah – give us a minute, would you please?"

As Charlie closed the door again, Jed heaved a sigh and swallowed hard as he tried to control the churned-up emotions inside him. "So what now?" he asked, still unable to look at Leo.

"You have to see John Marbury."

"No – I mean–"

"I know what you mean."

"And?"

Leo hesitated. "I need some time–"

"Yes," Jed nodded. "Yes, of course–"

"Do I have to stay for this meeting with Lord Fauntleroy?"

"Leo–" Jed started to protest, then lifted his eyes and looked at his friend. He relaxed as he saw the amusement there, and grinned too. "Well, it's not an executive order but–"

"Shall I let him in?"

"No, wait a minute – would you pass me that robe from the bedpost? I'd rather sit on the couch for this meeting."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Jed flung back the bedcovers and swung his legs over the side. As he stood up, he was relieved that he could do it without feeling at all dizzy. Leo held out the dark blue robe for him and he went on, "And would you ask Charlie to organise some Earl Grey tea for His Lordship – and a shot of whisky too – Lagavulin, if they can find any in this joint?"

Leo threw him an expressive glance. "Yes, sir."

As Leo went towards the door, Jed half-smiled ruefully to himself. Now he was back to being 'sir' again. But he also knew that they would have to talk about the MS again – and what Leo thought they should do next. His stomach lurched slightly at the thought that Leo might think that they should now disclose it – and all the implications of that...

"Mr President!" John Marbury said as he came into the room and then stopped in surprise. "Oh – and I did hope to see you reclining in your bed – and gracefully receiving your courtiers!"

Jed grinned. "I thought it was the French kings who did that?"

"Oh yes, and the English too – and I believe your John Kennedy even used to hold meetings while he was in the bath?"

"John, I haven't even managed a shave today, never mind a bath! Come on, let's sit down over here."

The meeting with John Marbury went surprisingly well, once Jed had smoothed over a small spat between the English lord and his Chief of Staff over a reference to maharajahs. But John had come up with a possible and feasible solution to the crisis, with his suggestion that America should help India with its computer industry. Leo had clearly stated the demand that Indian forces should retreat and had spelled out the consequences of India's failure to meet those demands. As John left to talk with the Prime Minister and the Indian ambassador, Jed looked at Leo and said "Let's hope."

As Leo left to go back down to his office, Charlie announced Toby's arrival.

"How are you feeling, Mr President?" Toby asked.

"Much better, thank you," Jed replied, then went on, "You know, I was watching a television programme before with a sort of a roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who are having some sort of problems with their boyfriends. Apparently, because the boyfriends have all slept with the girlfriend's mothers. Then they brought all the boyfriends out and they fought right there on television. Toby, tell me, these people don't vote, do they?"

Toby laughed. "I wouldn't think so – no, sir."

Jed looked round in surprise as Josh also came in. "What do you need, Josh?"

"I asked Josh to join me here, sir," Toby said.

Jed looked at them both then beckoned them to sit down. But they both remained standing as he sat down. "What's on your mind?"

"The era of big government is over," Toby said.

"You want to cut the line?"

"I want to change the sentiment," Toby said.

As he went on Jed found himself nodding.

"We have to say what we feel," Toby was saying. "That government, no matter what its failures are in the past, and in times to come, for that matter, the government can be a place where people come together and where no one gets left behind. No one...gets left behind, an instrument of...good." He hesitated. "I have no trouble understanding why the line tested well, Josh, but I don't think that means we should say it. I think that means we should – change it."

"I think so too," Jed said. "What do you think, Josh?"

Josh was clearly moved by what Toby had just said. "I make it a point never to disagree with Toby when he's right, Mr President."

Jed nodded. "Then you and Sam get your people together and get to work."

As they stood up to leave, Jed sat thoughtfully, almost stunned that Toby Ziegler had yet again managed to get right to the heart of what really mattered...

"You're up."

He looked round as Abbey came into the bedroom. "Yeah."

"How're you feeling?"

"Much better."

She reached for her medical bag that lay by the side of the bed. "How's your temperature?"

Jed shrugged. "How do I know? I feel okay."

"Not dizzy?"

"No." He sighed as she brought out the thermometer. "Again?"

"Yes."

He waited patiently until she took the thermometer from his mouth. "Well?"

"Still up – 99 point eight."

"Only one degree up."

"One degree point two."

"Who's counting?"

"I am."

"Okay." He paused for a few moments. "I talked to Leo."

"Yeah." Abbey sat down on the couch and looked across at him. "How did it go?"

"He's more hurt than angry." Jed looked down and bit his lip, remembering the reproach in Leo's eyes.

"He knew there was something, Jed – he asked me what you had that you couldn't tell people – and I just saw the panic in his eyes–" Abbey looked down and heaved a sigh. "You can be mad at me for telling him but–"

"Abbey, I'm not–"

"If I hadn't told him, he would have started imagining everything under the sun."

"I'm not mad, Abbey." Jed hesitated for a moment. "In fact, I think I'm relieved."

Abbey nodded slowly, understanding exactly what he meant. "Yeah." It _was_ a relief, she thought, to have someone with whom to share the worry and the fears, someone who was a friend as well as being part of the administration. "What does he think we should do now?"

"We didn't get chance to talk about that," Jed admitted. "He said he needed time–"

"Yeah." Then Abbey looked at him anxiously. "Jed – what if he thinks we should disclose it?"

Jed shrugged. "Then we disclose."

"Now? The same time as the State of the Union?"

"No, we'd have to tell the staff first–" Jed stopped, not even wanting to think about that. "Look, let's just leave it until we know what Leo thinks, huh?"

"Okay. Do you want to invite him up here for dinner this evening?"

Jed shook his head. "No, not this evening. I'm too tired now to think straight."

"You wanna go to bed?"

Jed gave a half-chuckle. "If I didn't have the flu, I'd say that was an offer I couldn't refuse!"

"Don't even think about it!"

He grinned. "Oh, I always think about it – but at the moment that's all I can do." He leaned back against the chair and for a moment closed his eyes and heaved a sigh.

"Come on, babe–" Abbey stood up and helped him to his feet. "Let's get you back into bed..."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

While Jed slept, Abbey caught up on some paperwork, mainly letters that had to be written. She looked up quickly when there was a gentle knock on the door and glanced round at Jed. But he hadn't stirred and she went quickly across to the door.

"Zoey!" She gave her a youngest daughter a quick hug. "Ssh, your Dad's asleep."

After another quick glance back at the bed, she stepped out into the West Sitting Hall and closed the door quietly behind her.

"How is he?" Zoey asked, once the door was closed.

"Much better," Abbey said. "His temperature's coming down nicely now." She glanced quickly at the two agents who stood by the bedroom door then looked back at Zoey. "I was just going to make some coffee – want some?"

Zoey followed her across the sitting hall to the door which led to the family kitchen and Abbey closed the door behind them. "Okay, now we can talk properly without anyone overhearing."

Zoey threw her bookbag on to the floor and perched herself on one of the chairs that surrounded the central island of the kitchen, while Abbey filled the coffee machine.

"Dad's okay, isn't he?" she asked with a worried frown.

Abbey nodded. "Yes, I think so. The fever doesn't seem to have triggered off anything else."

"You mean his MS?"

"Yeah." Abbey switched on the machine and then sat down on one of the chairs opposite Zoey. "That's always the worry with a fever." She looked across at her daughter and sighed. "And I _was_ worried last night. But he seems a lot better today – he's even had a couple of meetings."

"Was one of them with Leo? I saw the press conference on C-SPAN this morning."

"Well, I guess that wasn't so much a meeting as a confessional," Abbey admitted.

"What d'you mean? Dad already knew – we all knew – about Uncle Leo–"

"No, this time it was the other way round." Abbey looked down and with a sigh ran her hand through her hair. Then she looked back at Zoey. "I had to tell Leo this morning – about the MS."

Zoey's eyes widened. "But – but I thought–"

"Yeah, that only the family needed to know. But – well, I guess Leo just caught me at a vulnerable moment." She bit her lip, remembering the moment that morning when she'd known that she had to confide in Leo. Quickly, she looked back at Zoey and smiled. "But it'll be okay, Zoey – Leo isn't gonna tell the world."

"Is he okay about it?"

"He's more hurt than angry," Abbey said, repeating the words that Jed had said earlier.

Zoey nodded. "Yeah – well, that's understandable, isn't it?"

"Don't worry about it, Zoey – your Dad will sort it with Leo." Abbey slid off her chair and crossed the kitchen to the coffee machine. She poured two mugs of coffee and brought them back to the island. "Anyway, are you here to see your dad – or to see Charlie?"

"Charlie's working tonight," Zoey said with a smile. "State of the Union tomorrow – and all that."

"That's not a done deal yet," Abbey replied.

"You mean Dad might postpone?"

"He'll decide tomorrow morning – depending on how he is."

Zoey grinned. "You mean that you'll decide?"

Abbey gave her a look of mock innocence. "Now whatever gave you that idea?" She glanced at her watch. "Zoey, are you stopping over here tonight?"

"I can do – why?"

"I was supposed to be at a Women's Health Coalition reception this evening at Constitution Hall – I was going to tell Lilly to cancel me – but if you're going to be here?"

"Yeah, you go, Mom – I'll stay here with Dad while you're away."

"Okay – thanks, Zoey."

--

When Jed woke up, he had no idea what time it was. He was just reaching for his watch from the nightstand when he heard his youngest daughter's voice. "Hi, Dad."

Quickly, he hauled himself up into sitting position. "Zoey! What are you doing here?"

Zoey put down the pad on which she'd been making notes for an essay, stood up and crossed to the bed. "I've been here a couple of hours. Mom had to go to a reception."

"So you're baby-sitting me?" Jed grinned as he reached up to give her a hug. "It's good to see you, sweetheart. What time is it?"

"Nearly eight o'clock. How you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

Zoey laughed. "Mom said you'd say that – but I have a list here – it says 'Take his temperature, make him take another Flumadine tablet, call the duty doctor to check him out, get some food down him and DON'T let him go down to the office'."

Jed started laughing. "In that order, I presume?" He started to pull back the covers of the bed. "Listen, Zoey, before you do any of those, just let me go for a shower and a shave, will you? I haven't had either all day – and I'll feel a damn sight better when I feel a bit fresher."

Zoey looked at him. "Yeah, well, you do look a bit gross with all that stubble – so okay."

"Gross?" Jed rubbed his hand around his cheeks. "You mean I wouldn't look distinguished with a beard?"

"Like Lincoln?" Zoey studied him for a moment. "In a word – no!"

Jed laughed. "Okay then."

As he stood up, Zoey went on, "What do you want to eat?"

"How about we send out for pizza?"

"I don't think that's what Mom had in mind."

"I'm a hundred per cent certain that's not what Mom had in mind – but she doesn't have to know, does she?" He winked at her. "So just call that boyfriend of yours and have him order my favourite Hawaiian from Luigi's, will you? And remind him – no onions to give the game away!"

"Shouldn't you be having something healthier than that – like vegetarian?"

"Aww, Zoey, gimme a break – your mom already insisted I had veggie soup at lunchtime!"

Zoey grinned at him. "Okay then."

After he'd showered and shaved, and dressed in clean sweatpants and one of his Notre Dame sweaters, Jed felt more human again. His head was back on his shoulders and he knew, without being told, that his temperature had dropped. But Zoey still insisted on taking it.

"Ninety-nine point three," she said after she'd studied the thermometer.

Jed nodded. "Only seven points to drop now – do I really need another check-up?"

"I've called the duty doctor, Dad."

"Okay," Jed said resignedly, and when the doctor arrived, he succumbed to another temperature reading, blood pressure check and chest sounding – all of which were entered on his chart and which he knew Abbey would study when she returned.

The next knock on the door was far more promising. "Come in," he called.

Charlie came in with several large cardboard packages.

"Hey, Charlie!" Zoey greeted him with a smile.

Charlie grinned back at her then turned to Jed. "Mr President, you _will_ protect me from the First Lady's wrath if she ever finds out about this, won't you?"

Jed grinned. "We'll both leave the country, Charlie! Sit down, son – I'll bet you haven't eaten yet – so you can have my garlic bread, and I'm sure Zoey will share her pizza with you."

"Well– " Charlie hesitated. "It's fairly manic down there–"

"All the more reason to stay up here for a while," Jed replied. "You can tell 'em it was an executive order."

"Yes, sir." With a grin, Charlie sat down on the couch next to Zoey who handed him a slice of pizza and a piece of garlic bread, and they all continued chatting as they ate.

"That was excellent," Jed said as he finished his last slice. "And now we just have to get rid of the evidence."

Charlie stood up. "I'll take it all down to West Wing."

"I'll come down with you," Jed said.

"Dad–" Zoey started to protest.

Jed grinned. "Only joking, Zoey. I might be able to get away with pizza – but your Mom'd kill me if I went down to the Oval. It's okay – you go down with Charlie and hide the evidence."

"You gonna behave yourself while I go?"

"Am I allowed to call Toby?" Jed asked. "He and Sam were doing some last minute changes to the speech."

Zoey smiled as she stood up. "I think you're allowed that."

Charlie stood up too. "Uh – you've heard that we haven't been invited, haven't you, sir?"

"Invited? Where?"

"Well, when I say 'we', I really mean 'you' – you haven't actually been invited to deliver the State of the Union."

Jed's eyes widened. "What?"

"The Speaker is adamant that the invitation was sent – and Josh is equally adamant that the White House hasn't received it. He's been haranguing the Speaker's Office all day."

"Does that mean that I don't need to go to the Hill tomorrow night then?" Jed asked with a grin. And then his face changed. "Oh God," he said.

"Sir?"

"I think I need to call Josh before he has a heart attack." Jed said. "The invitation is on the desk in my private study. It was delivered by a messenger yesterday."

Charlie tried hard to keep the grin off his face but failed. "I think Josh will be very relieved, sir – either that or he'll come up here and kill you."

"I'll take my chance," Jed laughed.

After Zoey had left with Charlie, Jed moved across to the phone – apologized to a harassed Josh and then received confirmation from Toby that the speech was almost complete.

"I'll send up a copy as soon as it's printed, sir."

"Thanks," Jed replied, then, "Is Leo in his office?" he asked.

"No, sir," Toby replied. "He left early – I'm not sure–"

"Okay, no problem, I'll see him in the morning."

After he'd put the phone down, Jed sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes. It wasn't like Leo to leave early – and certainly not the night before the State of the Union, or with a looming crisis like India and Pakistan. He frowned a little, wondering just what had been going through Leo's head all day and knowing that tomorrow he really did need to talk to his friend...

He looked up in surprise when Zoey came back into the room. "Hello – I thought you'd be making the most of stolen moments with your new boyfriend!"

Zoey blushed and then laughed. "I was too worried you'd sneak down to the office!"

Jed stood up and crossed to the couch. "It's gonna be hard enough to persuade your Mom to let me go down there tomorrow – so I've decided to play safe for tonight," he said with a grin then glanced at the pad of paper that Zoey had left on her chair. "What are you working on?"

Zoey sat down across from him. "How the American teen culture of the 1950's was influenced by the film industry."

"Dean and Brando," Jed said immediately. "Every teenager wanted to look like James Dean." He pushed his hair back in an imaginary Dean quiff and affected Dean's insolent stare.

Zoey laughed. "What about 'Rock Around the Clock' then?"

"Nah, the music came later, it was Dean in _Rebel without a Cause_ and Brando in _The Wild One_ – rebellious teenagers – they were our heroes."

"So was rock and roll a result of the teenage rebels shown in the movies or did it run parallel to the teen culture that was developing at the time?"

"Good question," Jed replied.

The two of them sat discussing teen culture and movies until the door opened and Abbey came in.

"My God," she said, "this place smells like an Italian restaurant on M Street!" As Jed and Zoey glanced sheepishly at each other, Abbey looked at them both. "And I'm not going to ask – because I don't think I want to know the answer!"

Zoey gave her father an apologetic grin. "Sorry, Dad, I guess I forgot about the air freshener spray!"

"So how're you feeling?" Abbey asked, coming across to him and resting her hand lightly on his forehead. "Seems like your temperature's gone down."

"Point seven up a couple of hours ago," Jed replied, "and I've had another tablet since then. Oh God," he groaned as she reached for her medical bag. He winked at Zoey. "Just never marry a doctor, peachy!"

Zoey laughed as she stood up. "Okay if I go to my room now? I need to do some more work before tomorrow."

"Yeah – and thanks, Zoey," Abbey said as she nudged Jed to open his mouth.

"Great discussion, Dad – thanks," Zoey said.

Jed nodded and, unable to reply because of the thermometer, pushed his hair back and did his James Dean look again. Zoey laughed out loud as she headed for the door.

"What was that about?" Abbey asked after Zoey had gone and she'd taken the thermometer out of Jed's mouth.

"She's doing an essay on teen culture in the 50's – so I gave her a first-hand account of what it was like to be a teenage rebel."

"You were never a teenage rebel!" Abbey retorted sceptically.

"I was too. I grew my hair long – much to my Dad's disgust."

"And that made you a rebel?"

"In my Dad's eyes, yes," Jed replied with a laugh. "Anyway, what's the temperature?"

"Outside? Cold by Washington standards. At home we'd just say it was mild."

"Idiot!" Jed said fondly. "I mean my temperature."

"I know what you mean. I just don't want you rushing down to the Oval if I tell you."

"It's normal?"

"Two points up – 98 point eight."

Jed leant back again the couch and blew an exaggerated sigh of relief. "Thank God for that. So we're out of the woods then?"

Abbey sat down across from him. "Looks like it. But I still want to keep checking tomorrow."

"Okay. And the State of the Union?"

"We'll decide tomorrow morning."

"I'm gonna have to talk to Leo again tomorrow. He left the West Wing early tonight – that's not like him–"

"What d'you think he'll want to do?"

Jed looked at her. "I honestly don't know – could go either way."

"Either way?"

"Either he'll insist that we disclose – or he'll agree to stay as one of the few who do know."

"What if he wants a middle course?"

Jed frowned. "What d'you mean?"

"That more people should be told?"

Jed thought for a moment. "The more people who know, the more chance of it breaking – I'm not sure I'm ready for that. You know as well as I do all the misconceptions and misunderstanding–"

"Yeah, it'll need a lot of spin and media information to correct all that."

"It's too soon," Jed said slowly. "There's still too much to do – and it's gonna be hard enough without people thinking that I'm an invalid."

Abbey heaved a sigh. "Jed, we could talk about this all night – but we're not going to get anywhere until we know what Leo thinks."

"That's true."

"So let's just get a good night's sleep – and then be ready to face what tomorrow brings huh?"

Jed nodded and stifled a yawn. "You just said it right there, sweetheart. Let's go to bed."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Jed woke with a start the following morning. He'd slept well and didn't know at first what had awoken him or why he immediately felt uneasy. Then he remembered. Leo. He had to talk to Leo. The State of the Union paled into insignificance by comparison with the meeting he had to have with his Chief of Staff. No, not just his Chief of Staff, but his friend, his best friend.

Jed heaved a sigh as Leo's words rang through his head – 'Of all the things you could have kept from me–'

But that's exactly what I did, he thought, leaning against the pillow with his hands behind his head. His mind went back, remembering when he'd first started with the symptoms, remembering too when he'd finally been diagnosed with MS. He could have told Leo then – except that Leo had his own problems.

He'd first suspected it when he was in Congress and met up occasionally with Leo. He remembered one time when they'd met at a bar in Georgetown – and he'd realised that Leo was already drunk. Not just tipsy or happy – and not falling around on the floor – but just drunk. And it wasn't only that time either. They didn't meet up very often since Leo was doing a lot of travelling, but almost every time they did meet, it was the same.

_"Leo, what's happened to you?" he remembered saying one night._

_"Whaddya mean?"_

_"You're drinking too much."_

_"Nah!" Leo gave him his lopsided grin. "This is Washington, Jed – this is where it all happens. You gotta have a drink or two, man – that's how you make the contacts in this town."_

And Jed had kept his concerns to himself. They were both private men. They didn't discuss personal matters.

It was when he had become Governor and Leo was Secretary of Labour that their paths started to cross more regularly. He'd needed Leo's help with various labour problems in New Hampshire and they phoned each other frequently. Leo also travelled up to Concord several times and from being casual acquaintances over the years, they had started to develop a real friendship. Their talks had gone way beyond just the subject of labour to discussions about everything and they'd both realised how similar their thoughts were about the issues and problems facing the country and the world.

At the same time, Jed had realised that Leo was still drinking heavily, and suspected that he was also taking pills. But he'd said nothing – until that night when Leo had called him at two o'clock in the morning. Jed still shuddered whenever he remembered that night.

He'd dropped Leo off at the airport earlier in the evening and had assumed that he would be on his way to Chicago for a meeting there. But then came the almost incoherent phone call – 'flight cancelled – bar – motel – kicked out – no money.' And then Leo was sobbing uncontrollably.

_"Leo, where are you? Leo! Just tell me where the hell you are!" Jed was already out of bed, waking Abbey in the process and once he'd managed to get the motel name from Leo he said, "Look, Leo – stay where you are – I'll be there in about fifteen minutes – I'm giving the phone to Abbey – just talk to her until I get to you, will you?"_

_"Keep talking to him," he said quickly to Abbey as he pulled on a sweatshirt. "He's totally trashed in the parking lot at the Hammond and I need to get there before anyone else finds him."_

He didn't even want to think now about the state Leo had been in when he'd eventually found him. But he'd managed to haul him into the car and Leo had collapsed into a drunken stupor on the drive back to the farm. They'd managed to get him into the bed in one of the guest rooms and then sat in the kitchen with mugs of hot chocolate.

_"What now?"__ Jed had said wearily._

_"We have to help him somehow," Abbey had replied. "He can't go on like this, he's destroying himself."_

During the next couple of days, the whole story gradually came out. How he'd gone to the bar when his flight had been cancelled, got talking to a woman who he'd assumed was another stranded passenger but who then suggested that they booked into a motel – and then when Leo had been too drunk to do anything, took his wallet from him, pushed him out of the door and locked it.

Leo had been mortified and remorseful, swearing that he was never going to drink again. But then Jed realised that Leo had taken a bottle of whisky from the cupboard in the dining room – and that was when he had finally laid into his friend. A week later, Leo had admitted himself into Sierra Tucson.

"And that," Jed thought now, "was the whole reason why I didn't tell him that I'd been diagnosed with MS just two weeks before all that happened."

Abbey stirred beside him, struggled to wake up and then looked at him. "What are you thinking about?"

Jed shrugged slightly. "Leo," he said.

"What about Leo?" She turned towards him, resting her head on her hand.

Jed looked round at her. "Why we never told him."

Abbey thought for a moment. "Because of that night – and because he then went to Sierra Tucson?"

"Yeah – but after that? Once he was out of there, I was on the phone to him every week – and he and Jenny came up here a lot – why didn't we ever tell him?"

Abbey sighed. "I don't know. I guess we'd just agreed that only the family needed to know. That your symptoms were so mild that no-one else needed–"

"He's gonna want to know now, Abbey – he's gonna want to know why I didn't tell him when I agreed to run for President."

Abbey gave a half-laugh. "Because at that point we didn't think you stood a chance – and you'd only had a few minor episodes – it just didn't seem relevant."

Jed nodded. "And then it all took off – and somehow it was too late to say anything–"

"And you had the experience of John Hoynes' reaction to it."

"Yeah. He was the first one outside of family. And yeah, it did make me realise just how people would react."

"So – you have to tell Leo that."

Jed heaved a sigh. "I'm not looking forward to it."

Abbey moved her hand to his chest. "He'll understand, Jed. This is Leo – he'll understand."

Jed put his hand over hers and gave her his small smile. "Let's hope," he said.

"So – apart from all that – how are you feeling?" she asked.

"Back to normal," Jed said, then looked at her. "State of the Union?"

"I'll tell you when I've checked your temperature."

"And then you're gonna be checking it every hour on the hour?" Jed asked with a grin.

"Probably."

"Can I go to the office?"

"When you've had some breakfast – and as long as you promise to come back up here for a rest this afternoon."

"Can't promise that, sweetheart, sorry," Jed said as he swung his legs out of bed. "I will if I can – but it depends on what's happening with India and Pakistan."

"Okay." Abbey watched him as he made his way to the bathroom, relieved to see that there was no longer any suggestion of dizziness or loss of balance.

By the time he had showered, shaved and dressed, the breakfast cart had arrived. He reached for the coffee pot and poured a mug of coffee, then looked at Abbey in surprise when she whisked it away from him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna take your temperature," she said. "And if I take it straight after you've had that hot coffee, it'll register about a hundred and seven – and you'll be dead!"

Jed laughed. "Okay then." He waited until she'd removed the thermometer and looked across at her. "And?" he said.

Abbey arched her eyebrows. "You got your best suit pressed ready for tonight's speech?"

"It's normal?"

She nodded. "Yes – but don't think that I've finished with checking. It could still go up again." She reached into her medical bag for a syringe, ripped open the packet and then filled it. "Roll up your sleeve."

Jed did so. Abbey had shown him how to inject himself and he did it sometimes when she was away, but he much preferred it when she gave him the Betaseron shots and he didn't actually have to watch the needle. He was always glad when it was over, and rolled down his sleeve again after she'd finished. "Can I have my coffee now?"

--

Mrs Landingham looked up in surprise when he walked into the Oval Office from the portico. "I really didn't expect to see you here this morning, Mr President."

"Why is it that you can always make me feel like a kid who's been caught doing something wrong?" he replied with a grin.

"Because I'm the big sister you never had," she retorted.

"Okay – so now go away and be someone else's big sister! No – hang on a minute – is Charlie here yet?"

Mrs Landingham gave him one of her long-suffering looks. "Sir, it's eight thirty and you know very well that Charlie is always here by seven o'clock at the latest."

"Well, you know what they say – while the cat's away – etcetera!"

"You calling Charlie a mouse now? I'll send him in." She stopped as she reached the door. "And I'm glad you're feeling better, Mr President – even though it was _very _peaceful in here yesterday."

Jed chuckled to himself as she went out, looked down at the files on the desk then looked up again as Charlie came in.

"How're you feeling, sir?"

"I'm fine, Charlie, thanks. Look, would you check with Margaret and find out when Leo's gonna be free today – and then clear my schedule, because I need some time with him."

"Yes, sir."

--

It was eleven thirty when Leo finally came into the Oval Office. In the meantime, Jed had had meetings with CJ to confirm to her that the State of the Union would be going ahead that evening as planned, with Toby and Sam over the rewording of the speech, with a group of representatives from the Wildlife Conservation group and with the Prime Minister of Denmark.

He was studying the latest report on the India and Pakistan crisis when Leo came in.

"Margaret said you wanted to see me, sir."

Jed looked at him over his glasses. "Yeah. Take a seat, Leo." Then he took off his glasses and stood up. "No, dammit, we can't do this here. Let's go up to the Residence."

Leo followed him to the portico.

"No more news on India, I presume?" Jed asked as they walked along.

Leo shook his head. "Not yet. I had a message that John Marbury has talked with the Indian ambassador but Fitzwallace isn't reporting any movements on the front – either way."

"Give 'em time," Jed said. "Moving troops back doesn't happen instantaneously. But at least they're not moving forwards."

"There've been a few more border clashes."

"Major ones?"

"Not egregious – I think that was the word the Chiefs used. I had to look it up in the dictionary."

Jed grinned. "Okay."

They went up in the elevator to the Residence and Jed waved his arm dismissively at the agents who had followed them. They stepped back and allowed the two men to go into the West Sitting Hall where Jed closed the door firmly. He moved across to the couch under the arched window that overlooked the West Wing and the OEOB and beckoned to Leo to sit down too.

"We need to talk, Leo."

Leo sat down in the armchair across from him. "Yes, sir."

"Just cut the 'sir', will you? This is you and me, Leo."

"Mr President–"

"Oh, for God's sake, Leo! Yesterday we told you something that we – Abbey and I and our family – have known for the last seven years. You have every right to feel angry, hurt, betrayed – and whatever else has been going through your head for the last twenty four hours – because we decided that we were going to keep this thing to ourselves. It may have been an unbelievably stupid decision – but we made it, and now we have to live with it – and we have to decide where we go from here."

Leo looked at him for a long moment. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Jed gave a mirthless laugh. "You know, I woke up this morning with that question going round in my head."

"And?"

"Think back, Leo. Seven years ago. I got the final diagnosis at the beginning of June 1993. What else happened that month?"

He could see Leo thinking, and then his friend nodded and said slowly. "I admitted myself to Sierra Tucson at the end of June. Yeah. So I guess that was a bad month for both of us."

"You can say that again."

"But after that?"

"I dunno," Jed admitted with a sigh. "I wasn't experiencing any major symptoms – occasional numbness in my legs – a couple of times I had some dizziness and loss of balance – but the symptoms never lasted more than a day or so, mostly much less–"

"Was that why you were so reluctant when I came to you about running for President?"

Jed looked at him in surprise. "God, no, that wasn't part of it at all. I didn't even think about it at the time. My reluctance – as you call it – was because when you first suggested it, you took me totally by surprise – and even when I started thinking about it, I had to think first about what impact it could have on my family – on Abbey and her career, and on my daughters and granddaughter who would all be propelled into the limelight. Quite apart from the fact that I didn't think I had a cat in hell's chance of winning the nomination anyway, let alone the Presidency."

"And when you realised you could win both?"

"We were on a roll, Leo – a roll that I never expected. And somehow by then it was too late–"

Leo shrugged. "Well, I guess it's not unprecedented for a President to conceal health issues."

Jed shook his head. "I don't think I thought of it at the time as concealing. It just seemed irrelevant."

"But stress? Fatigue? Loss of cognitive function?"

"You've been doing your homework, Leo."

"Yeah. I went home early last night – I can use my laptop there with an untraceable ID. I needed to know–"

Jed smiled. "Toby said you had left early – I should have known that you'd be trying to find out more. You should have come to me – or Abbey." He paused for a moment. "So did you? Find out more, I mean?"

"Enough," Leo said. "Enough to worry me out of my mind and enough to put my mind at rest at the same time."

Jed nodded slowly. "It's a strange disease, Leo. The symptoms can vary so much – probably no two people have exactly the same symptoms. For some, there's a steady decline. For others, there are attacks which lead to some continuing disability and for the lucky ones – like me – there are infrequent attacks which don't cause any lasting problems."

"That's relapsing-remitting, right?"

"Yeah."

"And when does that develop into secondary or primary progressive?"

"Sometimes it never does. But it might. I can't tell you if or when – nobody can. It's so unpredictable. But, if it's any consolation, the last MRI I had didn't show any pronounced deterioration of the myelin sheath."

"The last MRI?" Leo raised his eyebrows. "When was that?"

"Over a year ago now. Don't worry, Leo, I haven't had any private visits to any doctors since I was elected."

"So these doctors who know about your MS – have they all been sworn to silence?"

"Nobody's been sworn to anything – just as no-one has been asked to lie. My doctor and specialists are quite at liberty to go to the press anytime – the fact that they haven't done so is because of their professional ethics – not to mention that they'd be violating HIPAA regulations."

"So what about the medics at Bethesda? Do they just ignore it when they produce your medical reports?"

"They don't ignore it, because it doesn't show up in an ordinary medical – not if it's in remission at the time."

"How long do the remissions last?"

"Until the day before yesterday, it was fifteen months since the last episode – in St. Louis, just before the final debate in the campaign when I had the same sort of symptoms – dizziness and loss of balance."

For a few moments Leo was silent then, to Jed's surprise, he started laughing.

"Leo?" he asked in bewilderment.

Leo looked at him. "Sorry, Jed – but it's just struck me that we seem to be running on parallel courses here."

"What d'you mean?"

"Think about it – you were diagnosed the same month as I hit rock bottom, you had an – what d'ya call it? – episode – when I went on a bender in Missouri – and now you have another one when I have to go on national television and admit to alcohol and valium addiction. So what in God's name are the two of us doing here in the White House – trying to solve the world's problems, when we have enough problems of our own to try and solve?"

Jed grinned. "When you put it like that, it does sounds totally stupid, doesn't it?" Then his face stilled. "But the difference is that you've sorted your problem – and there's no way that I can do anything about mine."

Leo too was serious again. "Who else knows?"

"The family, of course – and my own personal physicians – and–" he hesitated, "–and John Hoynes."

"Hoynes?"

"I had to tell him, Leo – when I asked him to be my running mate, I had to tell him – because if anything happened to me–"

Leo nodded. "Yeah – yeah, okay, I understand that."

Jed looked at him. "Can you also understand why I really do not want to tell people about this? I don't want to be seen as incapacitated in any way – and since MS is so misunderstood, that's how I _would_ be seen by the majority of people. Either that, or people would be expecting me to drop dead any moment, because eighty per cent of people still think that MS is fatal. And I want to be seen as a President who can make things happen – and not as an invalid." Jed bit his bottom lip hard as the emotion welled up inside him. But he forced himself to go on. "Everyone would start to think differently about me, Leo – they might not say anything, but it would be there in their eyes – pity, uncertainty – God, every time I tripped up or lost my temper or forgot something – they'd be thinking 'Is this the MS?' And I still want people to see me, Leo – me, the person – and not the disease that I have." He stopped again as the tears suddenly brimmed in his eyes. Quickly he looked away. "I – I'm sorry–"

"Nah," Leo said quietly. "Nothing to be sorry about. Remember you're talking to an alcoholic here – so what makes you think I don't understand exactly what you're saying?"

Jed managed a small smile as he wiped the back of his hand against his cheek. "What a couple of idiots we are!"

"But we're still doing a damn good job of running this country between us–"

Jed shrugged, recovering himself now. "Yeah, well, I wonder about that at times. We came here with so many ideals, Leo – what happened?"

"We get bogged down sometimes, Jed – but the ideals are still there – and that's what keeps us going."

"Even when India and Pakistan are pointing nuclear weapons at each other?"

"Even then," Leo said firmly. Then he hesitated. "Look, I know you're probably not going to like what I'm going to say now–"

"Say it," Jed replied.

"I understand that you don't want people to know – and I agree with all your reasoning about that – but I think Fitzwallace should be told."

Jed frowned. "Why?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I know that you rely on me a lot in the Situation Room–"

"I couldn't possibly argue against that."

"So I personally would prefer it if Fitz knew. He's an intelligent and compassionate man, Jed– but he's also the one who has to follow any orders you give and – well, I'd much rather that he knew the score."

"You mean you'd both be watching out for any loss of cognitive function? Memory lapses? Irrational behaviour?" Jed couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"If you can take the brutal truth, then yes," Leo said. "We're talking here about national security – and this is where you have to put your own personal feelings aside and think about the country, about the world – you're the Commander-in-Chief of the largest armed forces in the world–"

Jed nodded slowly. "Yeah – yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right."

"You want me to tell him?"

"No – no, I'll tell him – but–" Jed looked straight at Leo, "–I'd like you to be there when I do."

Leo held his look steadily. "I serve at the pleasure of the President, sir."

Jed nodded, tightening his lips and swallowing hard. "Thank you, Leo." he managed to say.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

After Leo had gone back to the West Wing, Jed sat for a long time, thinking about everything Leo had said. It had actually been much calmer than he had been expecting. He'd really thought that Leo was going to lay into him for concealing his MS, but instead there had been a depth of understanding, which perhaps wasn't surprising since Leo himself had gone through so much with his alcoholism – and he'd kept it concealed too, until it had finally broken in the media.

"So what will I do when my thing finally hits the press?" he wondered, then looked round as the door opened.

"Jed?" Abbey looked at him anxiously. "What are you doing here? I called Charlie and he said you'd come back up here. Are you okay?"

"I've just talked with Leo."

Concern clouded her eyes as she moved quickly to sit beside him. "Was it bad?"

He shook his head. "No – the opposite in fact – but that made it harder in a way."

"So what's going to happen now?"

"Nothing. Well, apart from telling Fitz – Leo thought I ought to do that, and I agreed."

Abbey raised her eyebrows in surprise. "And that's it?"

"Yeah."

"I really thought he would insist that we should disclose it now."

"So did I – but I guess he has enough on his plate right at this moment. It's only twenty-four hours since he did that press conference – and today's papers are full of it. The last thing we need at the moment is another shock revelation from the White House."

"So we continue just as we have been doing?"

Jed looked at her. "Not completely. Leo knows now – and so will Fitz."

"Will that make a lot of difference?"

"I hope not, at least not from my point of view. I think they both have enough intelligence to be able to see past the disease – to realise that I'm still me the person."

Abbey smiled. "It's never stopped me from seeing you the person."

Jed's eyes met hers. "I know." Then he thought for a moment. "To tell the truth, what I'm actually feeling now is a sense of relief. I'm glad that Leo finally knows."

"Because you didn't like hiding things from him?"

"Partly that. But I'm thinking about the other night – when you came back from wherever it was – not knowing whether I was gonna have a full-scale relapse. And you were totally on your own here with that."

"I called the girls–"

"That's not the same, they're family. But at least now you have Leo at your back – and I feel better for knowing that."

Abbey nodded slowly. "Yeah – I guess that does make a difference." She looked back at him. "I panicked on Monday night, Jed. It's the first time it's happened since we we've been in this goldfish bowl called the White House – and I honestly didn't know how I was going to handle it, if you had gotten worse – or if I'd had to come clean about it in order to get you the treatment that you needed."

Jed caught hold of her hand. "Abbey, I don't want you to be _ever_ in that kind of situation again. If anything happens in the future – and if you feel that it's necessary to tell someone – then you go right ahead and do it. Understand?"

"Yes." She stood up and leant over to kiss his forehead, then wiped away her lipstick mark. "But don't go scaring me again for a long time huh?"

Jed grinned. "Were you just checking my temperature then with that kiss?"

She laughed. "Was I ever that subtle, pumpkin? But now that you've reminded me–"

"Oh God, why didn't I keep my big mouth shut?"

Abbey glanced at her watch. "Look, I have a luncheon thing at Trinity College at one o'clock, so I need to change. Come into the bedroom and–"

"And?" Jed said, standing up quickly.

"And let me take your temperature," Abbey went on firmly.

Jed followed her into the bedroom. "Is that all?"

"Yes, that's absolutely all," Abbey said, but grinned at him as she brought the thermometer from her bag. "Open up!"

He caught hold of her round her waist and pulled her towards him. "Not even a quick barbecue?" he managed to say, despite the thermometer in his mouth.

Abbey laughed. "Jed – watch it – you're gonna poke my eye out with that thermometer!"

"Sorry!" He kept his face back from her, but still pulled her hips against his until she squirmed free from him.

"Jed – let me go – I have to change!"

Jed followed her to the dressing room and leaned against the doorframe, watching her as she slipped off her casual brown pants suit and put on the formal red suit and black blouse.

"What do you have this afternoon?" she asked him.

"Mmm – mmm – mmm," Jed replied.

"What?" She looked round and saw him pointing at the thermometer. "Oh – sorry!"

Once she'd taken it out and was looking at it, he replied, "Just a final run-through of the speech and a couple of meetings, I think."

"Do I get to look at this speech before I have to listen to it tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll bring a copy back up here with me."

"Okay. Look, I gotta run now – but you take it easy this afternoon, right?"

"All right."

As she reached the door, he called to her. "Abbey–"

"What?"

"Just out of curiosity – what's my temperature?"

"Oh, didn't I say? It's still normal. See you later, honey!"

--

Jed made his way down to the Oval Office, scanned the folders that had been put on his desk and then went through to Leo's office.

"Anything more from Fitz?" he asked.

Leo shook his head. "Nope – the reconnaissance photos aren't showing anything different."

"Fingers still crossed then."

"Yeah. Oh, and Mr President–" he went on as Jed started to turn to leave, "I haven't thanked you for the statement that's all over the papers this morning. I was furious with Sam but – well, he told me what you had written and – although you shouldn't have done it – I really do appreciate it, sir."

"Leo, it was the very least I could do," Jed said quietly, looking back at him. "This White House is not going to let you go down because of all this – and I'm speaking for every member of staff when I say that."

"It's not over yet, sir."

Jed grinned. "With a bit of luck, the State of the Union will take it off the front pages tomorrow. What time are we doing the final run-through?"

"Four o'clock."

"And the pre-speech thing in the Mural Room?"

"Eight o'clock."

"By which time it will be well over the deadline for the troop withdrawal. I'll need to talk to Ken Kato at Treasury about liaising with the rest of G-7 and Fitz will need to talk to NATO."

"Yes, sir, I've already informed them of the steps that we may need to take."

"Let's just hope we don't have to. Keep me informed." Jed turned to go back into the Oval Office. "Mrs Landingham!" he called.

"Sir, there really is no need to shout," she said as she came through the door at the opposite side of the room.

"Jeez, there you go again–" Jed replied in mock exasperation. "What do I have this afternoon?"

"First, you have to have some lunch," Mrs Landingham replied. "The First Lady has insisted that I make sure you do."

"So you sent Charlie out for a hamburger?" Jed joked, knowing that it was a vain hope.

"I did no such thing. The kitchen has sent up a very nice avocado and grape salad for you."

Jed made a face but sat down at his desk and ate the salad while he caught up with the Washington Post and New York Times.

--

It was after seven o'clock by the time he returned to the Residence.

"Where on earth have you been?" Abbey asked, taking off her glasses and putting down the newspaper that she'd been reading. "You said at four o'clock that you'd be finished by five thirty."

"The run-through went on longer than we thought, and then we had to go down to the Situation Room. Here–" he added, handing her the folder with the State of the Union speech.

"Jed, sit down for a minute. You look tired and you look harassed."

"I'm okay," he replied. "I need to go for a shower and change."

"Sit down – I want to check you out."

With a sigh, Jed sat down in one of the armchairs while Abbey stood up and fetched her medical bag. "You've already taken my temperature," he said. "It was still normal when you came down to the office this afternoon."

"That was after you'd had a half-hour break and you were a lot more relaxed than you are now."

"Abbey–" Jed protested.

"Okay then – but at least let me check your pulse."

Jed gave in and held his arm out for her.

"It's fast," she said with a frown.

"Abbey, I'm about to give an hour long speech to a joint session of Congress – and India and Pakistan are threatening to blow each other up with nuclear weapons – is it any surprise that my pulse is running fast?"

"If you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to check your blood pressure too!"

"Okay." Jed leaned back against his chair and forced himself to relax the tight muscles in his shoulders.

"So – at the risk of raising your blood pressure even more – tell me what's happening with India and Pakistan." Despite what she'd said, Abbey knew that Jed needed to talk in order to let off some steam.

He looked at her. "We gave them a deadline to withdraw – and nothing seems to be happening."

"So what now?"

"Fitz wants to wait a little while longer. The last reconnaissance photos weren't clear – he thinks there's a possibility that the Indians might be withdrawing – but we need to wait for the next batch of photos to come through. If they're not moving back, then I have to decide whether we go ahead with the consequences we threatened them with – and also whether we get physical with Pakistan."

"An air strike?"

"I dunno. China won't like it if we do. That has to be a last resort. I'm just hoping that John Marbury has been able to persuade the Indians that the carrot's worth it."

"The carrot?"

Abbey's look of total bewilderment made Jed laugh. "Yeah – something John said yesterday – the stick and the carrot. The Brits used to make a local leader into a maharajah to ensure his loyalty. John thinks that a commitment from us to help India with its computer industry infrastructure might just have the same effect."

"Will it work?"

Jed shrugged. "It's the only hope."

"Is he coming here tonight?"

"John? I expect so – he'll come to anything where there's free booze – not to mention all the women from the West Wing!" Jed glanced at his watch. "I really do need to go and change."

"Okay. Is that the speech?" Abbey replied, glancing at the folder on the couch.

"Yeah – and don't forget that it's too late to change anything now!"

"Let me just take your temperature, Jed – to put my mind completely at rest."

"All right – but this is positively the last time, okay?"

"I'll decide that. I'm the doctor here, remember?"

Jed grinned. "As if you'd ever let me forget it, _Doctor_ Bartlet."

While she stood in front of him waiting for the thermometer to register, he ran his hands down her waist and hips to her thighs, then back up again until his hands reached her breasts, cupping them and rubbing his thumbs over her nipples. When she drew in a quick breath and closed her eyes momentarily, he felt a shiver of desire course through him. "Jeez, I want you," he breathed.

Abbey caught the thermometer as he let it fall from his mouth and looked at it. "Okay, you're good to go."

"Really?"

"For your shower, jackass – what did you think I meant?"

"Well, I hoped–"

"Shower, Jed! You can't tell the joint session of Congress that you're late because you decided to make love to your wife instead of delivering the State of the Union!"

Jed chuckled as he stood up. "I'd like to see their faces if I did!"

Abbey threw him an expressive glance as he disappeared into the bathroom, then sat down, bringing her legs up on the couch and putting on her glasses as she picked up the speech.

She was still reading it when he came back into the bedroom.

"I want to take your temperature one last time," she said.

"Abbey–"

"I want to take your temperature," she insisted, still looking down at the speech.

Jed knelt down on the floor next to her and held out his shirt cuffs to her. "You've taken it fourteen times in the last three hours. You're not taking it again."

Without even looking up from the speech, Abbey started to fasten his cuffs for him. "Yeah – fine," she said.

"At least not with a thermometer," he said.

She gave a small laugh. "Jed–"

"I'm saying if you want to take it – recreationally–"

"Oh, there's something wrong with you, you know that?"

"Yes, I do."

She was still looking down at the speech. "Why is 'hallowed' spelled with a pound sign in the middle?"

Jed leant forward and gently pulled off her glasses. "I stopped asking those questions–"

She looked up from the speech and he brought his mouth down on hers, gently at first but then their kiss deepened. After she'd finished fastening his cuff, his hand went to her breast and she leant back, loving the way his tongue was teasing hers, loving the way he was caressing her breast. A small moan of pleasure escaped her before she realised what they were doing.

"Jed!" she cried, pulling herself away from him.

"What?"

"For heaven's sake, we have to go down to the reception in the Mural Room – we can't–"

"But you want to, right?"

"Damn right I want to, but we don't have time–"

Right on cue, the phone rang. With a sigh, Jed stood up and went across to answer it. "Yeah?"

He listened for a few moments then said, "Okay, I'll be down in a few minutes."

After he'd put the phone down, he looked across at her. "Leo," he said. "He says the latest batch of photos is coming through."

"Have they withdrawn?"

"He doesn't know. I need to go down to the Situation Room."

Quickly he went across to where he'd left his jacket and flipped it on. Abbey stood up and came across to him and caught hold of his lapels.

"Listen, boyfriend," she said. "If those photos show that India hasn't withdrawn, then I know you're gonna have to be in that Sit. Room till God knows what time tonight. But if they have and you're off the hook – then maybe we can have some fun tonight – after this whole State of the Union thing is over?"

Despite the tension inside him, Jed grinned at her. "Is that a promise?"

"Yeah – it's a promise – and it all depends on India, huh?"

"I shouldn't be joking about this – but withdrawal has never seemed so appealing as it does right at this moment!" He leant forward to kiss her again. "I'll see you down in the Mural Room, sweetheart."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Jed grinned at Leo as they left the Situation Room. "Lord John's stick and carrot seem to have worked huh? Even though we couldn't create a maharajah!"

"You could say that, sir. We'll talk to the Indian Ambassador in three months, as you said."

They went up the stairs together. "You know, there was a lot riding on this tonight, Leo."

"Like avoiding nuclear war?"

"Yeah, well, that too."

"That too? What else?"

Jed grinned again. "What else? How about – tonight could be a good night?"

Leo looked sideways at him, frowning slightly. "Sir?"

"Let's put it this way – if India hadn't withdrawn, we'd have been back in the Sit. Room until the early hours. This way I can go to bed early–"

"Ah–" said Leo with a knowing grin.

Jed shot him an amused glance. "Shaddup!" Then he laughed. "I have to do the State of the Union first – and if there's anything in it that she doesn't like–"

"I think the requests of the First Lady's office have all been met, sir."

"Let's hope so!"

They reached Mrs Landingham's office just as Abbey and John Marbury came through from the Mural Room, both of them laughing.

"Hello!" Abbey said.

"Good evening!" Jed said and handed John several sheets of photographs.

"Good evening, Mr President."

As John looked through the photographs, Abbey glanced at Jed, raising her eyebrows questioningly. His eyes met and held hers, and he gave her the small smile that he knew she would understand. Her eyes widened in obvious delight as she smiled back at him. He was aware too that Leo had a broad smile on his face, and knew that it wasn't just because of the photos. Abbey reached down to put her hand over his, her fingers playing softly against his and Jed had to struggle to keep his face straight. He forced himself to look back at Lord John, even though his mind had already raced ahead to the end of the evening...

"Uh – well now," John was saying, "if I'm not mistaken, these are photos of Indian troops in retreat–"

As Abbey's fingers slid round to stroke Jed's palm with her fingertips – and he always loved the way she did that – he looked at her again. She shot him her amused and flirtatious look and this time he couldn't keep the grin off his face. That look of hers held so many promises – but he had to remind himself that he still had a long evening ahead before they could go back to the Residence and be alone together. He straightened his face again and they both looked back at Lord John.

"And so is that – and so is this." John said.

Jed smiled at his old friend. "Thank you, John," he said.

"Well, I'm on a plane to go and see Rikki in an hour – still many things to settle."

Jed held out his hand. "Godspeed, your Lordship," he said.

John smiled as he returned the handshake. "Thank you, sir." Then he turned to Abbey. "Abigail!"

Abbey smiled up at him as he bent forward to kiss her cheek and gave an affectionate laugh.

As John turned to shake hands with Leo, Jed looked round at Abbey again and smiled at her.

"Love you," he mouthed.

"Special garment?" she mouthed back.

"Can't wait!"

Their eyes met and he loved the soft smile that she gave. He knew that same smile would be on her face later, when he could hold her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, when they could finally relax together after the roller-coaster of the last couple of days. Quickly he drew in his breath, forcing himself back to the present, but his hand gripped hers even tighter.

"Well, I'm – off!" John said, reverting to his usual flamboyant style and they all laughed.

Still holding Abbey's hand, Jed led her into the Mural Room where the senior members of the West Wing staff were gathered.

"Friends, let me have your attention please–"

As he spoke, Abbey looked around the room, seeing all the smiling faces – seeing the love and loyalty they all had for her husband – and suddenly feeling a chill down her spine. What would they all think, she wondered, if they knew the truth? But she pushed the thought to one side as she smiled and applauded.

Charlie came in behind Jed. "Sir, the motorcade's ready and the Agriculture Secretary is in the Oval Office."

"Okay," Jed said, and turned to Abbey. "I need to go to the Oval. You okay to go now? I'll see you back here afterwards."

"You bet you will!" She reached up to kiss his cheek, then wiped away the lipstick mark with her thumb. He loved the way she always did that. "Thank God for the Indians, huh?"

Jed started laughing inwardly. "Stop it," he said. "I need to focus right now!" But he knew that she was anticipating everything as much as he was, and hoped that nothing was going to spoil the night ahead. Then he smiled, as much to himself as to Abbey, as an idea occurred to him.

She gave his hand a final squeeze. "Okay, babe. You go eat 'em up now!"

--

"And you can take that grin off your face," Jed said to Leo as they went out into Mrs Landingham's office.

"You sure you're gonna be able to concentrate on the State of the Union?" Leo asked, still grinning at him.

"Just watch me!" Jed said with a laugh. "Though, of course, I might just be saying that the country is _stranger _than it was a year ago! Charlie–" he turned to his body man, "give me a couple of minutes with Roger in the office, will you?" He looked back at Leo. "I'll see you in the car, Leo."

"Yeah – I'm going to get my coat, it's freezing out there. And don't for God's sake tell me that it's just crisp!"

Jed laughed as he turned towards the Oval Office door, and Leo started to make his way along the corridor, stopping for a minute to talk to one of the staffers about a report he needed the following day.

As he continued, his mind went over the previous forty-eight hours – the President collapsing, Fitz telling them that the Pakistan field commanders had been given command control of nuclear weapons, CJ coming in to tell him that the story was going to break, his own press conference, and then Abbey's emotional confession... His mind stopped there, remembering how his shock had given way to that indescribable sense of hurt and almost disbelief that the man he considered as his best friend had kept it from him. Okay, so Jed had explained the reason – and he'd been able to accept that. But somehow the hurt was still there...

He reached his office and walked across to pick up his coat. Then he realised that the door leading to the Oval Office was open – and he could hear Jed's voice, talking to Roger Tribbey.

"First thing always is national security. Get your commanders together. Appoint joint chiefs. Appoint a chairman. Take them to Defcon 4. Have the governor send emergency delegates to Washington. The assistant Attorney General is gonna be the acting A.G. If he tells you he wants to bring out the National Guard, do what he tells you."

Leo suppressed a smile. Trust Jed to go through all the contingency plans!

Then, after a pause, he heard Jed say, "You have a best friend?"

He started to put on his coat as Tribbey replied. "Yes, sir."

"Is he smarter than you?"

Leo stopped, listening now.

"Yes, sir."

"Would you trust him with your life?"

"Yes, sir."

"That's your Chief of Staff," Jed said.

Leo drew in his breath. His heart contracted as he realised that it was the most loving thing that Jed could possibly have said. His eyes filled as he turned to walk out of his office...

--

Jed turned as Charlie came into the office and helped him into his coat. He looked back at Roger and smiled as he held his fist to his heart and then raised his thumb.

Once out on the portico, he looked round at Charlie. "Charlie, I need you to organise something for me–"

"Sir?"

Briefly, Jed explained what he wanted and then gave Charlie one of his severe looks as the young man grinned. "Listen, it's no big deal, huh? And stop looking at me like that!"

"No, sir – er, yes, sir," Charlie replied, still with his broad smile.

"You're a young man, Charlie – one day you'll understand why we men have to do things like this to keep our women happy. So take note – and learn from it."

"Yes, sir, I will."

They reached the West Wing entrance and Jed walked out to the car.

Leo was already there and as the car swung out into Pennsylvania Avenue, he looked round at his friend.

"That was an awfully nice thing you said back there, sir."

"You heard?"

"Sir, the door was open – I couldn't help but–"

Jed looked round at him. "I trust you with my life, Leo. Never ever forget that."

Leo nodded slowly. "I think the feeling's mutual, don't you?"

In the darkness of the car as it sped towards the floodlit Capitol building, both men smiled. Their friendship had survived.

"And anyway," Jed went on, "why the hell were you grinning so much when we were with Lord John?"

Leo affected an innocent look. "Because the Indians have withdrawn, of course."

Jed laughed. "Because you knew I had a lot riding on the Indian withdrawal, you mean!"

"Yeah – well, that too, I guess. You have a good night ahead of you, sir – and I'm referring to the State of the Union, of course."

The two of them were still laughing as the car drew to a standstill outside the lower entrance to the Capitol.

--

'Concentrate, Jed,' he thought to himself as he walked the wide corridor that led to the door of the House Chamber, followed by Leo and some of the staff. But it wasn't easy when his mind's eye still saw that flirtatious look in Abbey's eyes, when he could still feel her hand squeezing his...

As they neared the door, Toby handed him two leather portfolios containing the speech. It was a formality – there were dual teleprompters with the speech, but the portfolios by tradition were given to the Vice President as the President of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives.

"Thanks." Jed stopped to shake hands with Toby and Sam then grinned. "It's a great speech – and I'll do my best with it, fellas."

At the entrance to the chamber, the Sergeant-at-Arms nodded to him. Jed stopped and bowed his head for a moment. Unbidden, part of one of Mother Teresa's prayers came into his head. 'Lord, You are on my side in times of despair, and in the hour of joy, we are together.' "Amen" he said aloud and crossed himself. Then he drew in a deep breath. Now he was back in control, calm and focussed.

"Mr Finney, would you tell the Speaker I'd like to see him please?"

The doors opened and Mr Finney made his dramatic announcement. "Mr Speaker – the President of the United States!"

Jed stepped into the chamber to rousing cheers and a standing ovation. He knew that it was a formality – that the applause was for the office of the President, and not for him as an individual. But as he shook hands with various Congressmen while he made his way towards the podium, he glanced upwards at the gallery.

Abbey was on her feet, smiling proudly and applauding – and that was enough for him...

--

Ninety minutes later, Jed was bringing the speech to an end: "I believe that government, no matter what its failures in the past, or indeed in the times to come, should be a place where people can come together and where no-one – _no-one_ – gets left behind. We will not reach that goal today or tomorrow. But it is our responsibility to keep that goal in our minds and in our hearts – and to strive towards it in all that we do. In the words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt 'It is true of the Nation, as of the individual, that the greatest doer must also be a great dreamer.' So let us dream of that more perfect Union and then let us _do_ everything within our power to achieve it. God bless you all – and God bless the United States of America."

The standing ovation went on for several minutes while Jed smiled and waved, then turned to shake hands with the Speaker and the Vice President. Only when he turned away from the television cameras did he bring out a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from his face.

John Hoynes smiled sympathetically. "It sure gets hot under those TV lights, sir."

"You can say that again," Jed replied, and then, as everything blurred for a second or so, he had to put his hand quickly on the podium to steady himself. He turned back to give another wave to the still applauding Chamber – and hoped that Abbey had not seen his momentary loss of balance. After another few seconds, he turned back to the Speaker again. "Let's go before I outstay my welcome, Jim."

Jim Hohner led the way into an ante-room, and Jed gratefully grabbed a bottle of mineral water from the table there. Without bothering about a glass, he threw the contents down his throat. But he still rested his hand on the table to keep himself steady as he greeted the senior members of Congress and the Senate who were filtering into the room.

When he saw Leo coming in, he beckoned his friend over with a slight tilt of his head. Leo came across, smiling. "Seventy-two ovations, sir, forty-eight of them standing – I counted them. You did great–" Then he stopped. "You okay?"

Jed nodded briefly. "Yeah." He lowered his voice. "My balance has gone slightly – no, it's okay. I'm not gonna pass out," he added quickly as he saw the alarm on Leo's face. "But I do need to get to somewhere where I can cool down."

"Should I go and find Abbey before she goes back to the White House?"

Jed shook his head. "No – no, don't do that. I'll be fine, Leo."

"You want to go the car now?"

"I'm okay for a few minutes – I'm holding on to this table. But when we do leave, I may need to put my hand on your shoulder – friendly gesture and all that – understand?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"And now for God's sake, start smiling – we just had – what was it? – seventy-two ovations?"

Leo forced a smile. "And forty-eight standing."

"There'll be a lot more statistics coming out in the next hour, like how many times I said 'welfare' and 'progress'. Who's on Capital Beat tonight?"

"Sam's doing it."

Jed nodded. "He'll be good. And they've got the phone pollsters going?"

"Yep – and we had the dial-ups too, we can see the results of those when we get back."

"Okay."

Jed spent a few more minutes talking to several Congressmen and Senators, then turned to Leo. "Time to go, I think."

He looked around at the assembled crowd and raised his voice. "Friends, I'd like to thank you for your support tonight – and I hope to have that same support in the coming months." He grinned at the slight ripple that went through the group. "Well, one can always hope, I guess! But seriously, we have a lot of important things to do and I have every confidence that we can make some real progress. We face a lot of challenges, but I believe we can meet those challenges and continue to come together around the basic values of our great nation. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to return to the White House and meet with the many guests who were invited tonight – most of whom are personally involved in the challenges I set before you all in this evening's speech. Thank you all."

Raising his hand tentatively from the table, Jed was relieved that he could stand without faltering. He forced himself to walk steadily toward the door while everyone was applauding. By sheer force of will, he managed to do it. But he was grateful that Leo stayed near to him. Only when they were outside the room, did he put his hand out to Leo's shoulder and whisper, "Just take my weight for a minute, will you?"

As he staggered slightly, Leo's hand went out to support him. Then he drew in his breath. "I'm okay – let's just get to the car and then I can roll the windows down and get a blast of cold air."

"I don't think the agents will let you do that."

Jed grinned, already starting to feel better now that they were out in the cooler corridor. "Okay, so tell Ron to put the AC full on then!"

Once in the car, Jed gratefully slumped into the seat, leaning back and closing his eyes with a sigh of relief. For a few minutes he could relax, until the motorcade turned left into the grounds of the White House.

He looked round at Leo. "I'm so damned glad we told you, Leo," he said quietly.

"Yeah," Leo returned his look. "So am I."

"And do me a favour – don't tell Abbey about this, huh?"

"Okay." The two of them smiled at each other as the car drew to a standstill under the portico at the entrance to the West Wing, then Leo went on, "You need some help getting out of the car?"

Jed shook his head. "No, I'm okay now." He knew he was. The few minutes in the air-conditioned car had cooled him down and the slight dizziness had gone. "I think we need to check first what's happening in the Sit. Room before we can join the thing in the Mansion."

Fitz and several other Chiefs were already back in the Situation Room. They all stood and applauded as Jed and Leo went in.

"Excellent speech, sir," Fitz said as Jed gestured them all to sit down again.

"Thanks, Admiral – and thank you, all." Jed tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment of their applause and then sat down at the head of the table. "What's the latest on India?"

"Still moving back, sir." Fitz passed several sheets of photos to Jed who pulled out his glasses to study them. Then he looked up again. "And Pakistan?"

"Holding their line – but we've intercepted messages that suggest they can't quite believe what they're seeing."

Jed grinned. "I bet they can't."

"They may suspect that the Indians intend to regroup, so it could be a couple of days before we see any real movement from them."

"Okay." Jed stood up again. "Let me know if there's any more change."

"Yes, sir."

"So tonight's still a good night," Jed commented with a grin as he and Leo went up the stairs.

"You wanna see some of the dial-ups?" Leo asked. "And the polling?"

"Nah," Jed said, waving his hand. "Time enough for those tomorrow. Let's go and see what's happening in the East Room."

Together they walked along the portico towards the Mansion and then upstairs to the East Room, which was ablaze with lights and filled with the evening's invited guests, who were chatting, drinking, helping themselves to the lavish buffet or dancing to the strains of the small orchestra.

Inevitably, as Jed walked in, everyone stopped and the applause reverberated around the room.

Jed held up his hand. "Thank you, thank you everyone. But please – continue to enjoy yourselves. Tonight is for you – and for all that you have done to ensure this evening's success. At least I think it was a success – since my Chief of Staff assures me that we had seventy-two ovations. The phone polls are going on right now – so tomorrow we'll see what the country thinks. In the meantime, just pretend that I'm not here."

Laughter rippled through the crowd and applause followed, and for the next twenty minutes or so, Jed was shaking hands and talking with the politicians, company executives, city administrators, members of the armed forces, doctors, community workers, teachers and students who had been invited to the evening's reception.

Eventually, he found Abbey.

"You changed your clothes again?" he said with a grin.

"I'm not supposed to wear the same thing to the reception as I wore to the speech."

"Really? Who says?"

"Actually, I'm not sure."

"Was I supposed to change my suit then?"

"You men just have it so easy!"

Jed laughed, then gave her his under-the-eyelashes look. "The Indians are still withdrawing."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's gonna be a good night."

Abbey's face went serious. "So why did you hold on to the podium?"

Jed looked at her. "I didn't think you'd notice."

"You can't fool me, Jed. What happened?"

He shrugged slightly. "It was the TV lights – over an hour standing in that heat – Once I got to somewhere cooler, I was okay again."

Abbey put her hand up to his forehead, ostensibly to push back the stray strands of hair that had fallen there.

Jed grinned. "This is because you can't shove a thermometer in my mouth, okay?"

"You're cool enough now."

"Cool? I thought I was getting pretty hot actually."

Abbey smirked. "Cool it, babe. We gotta stay here a while longer."

"But we've still got tonight?"

She smiled up at him, her eyes meeting his. "Yeah – we've still got tonight."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This chapter rated NC-17.

Later, much later, Jed and Abbey left the East Room and went up to the Residence. Jed suppressed a yawn as the elevator took them upwards.

"You look tired," Abbey said.

He glanced round at her. "It's been a long day."

She nodded. "It's been a good day, Jed."

"Yeah." Jed thought back. Talking with Leo that morning – India withdrawing – the State of the Union. Not necessarily as busy as many days with their dozens of meetings, but more stressful and emotionally charged than most. He looked round at her. "Abbey–"

She nodded as the elevator doors opened and they stepped out into the Central Hall of the Residence. "It's okay, honey. I know what you're going to say."

His eyes met hers and he caught hold of her hand as they walked through to the Sitting Hall. "I really wanted tonight, you know?"

She nodded. "Yeah, me too. But you're done in, you need to sleep–"

"Yeah."

Abbey stopped, and reached up to kiss his cheek gently. "It's okay – truly, Jed, it's okay."

Jed gave her his small smile and squeezed her hand. She'd hidden her disappointment well, he thought – which made what was going to happen even better.

When they reached the bedroom door, he opened it and then stood back to let Abbey go in first.

"Oh!" she gasped, looking round at him wide-eyed, then looking back at the room again.

The lights from several groups of different-sized candles lent a soft glow and sent flickering shadows around the whole room, Sinatra was crooning a love song in the background, on the table was a silver ice-bucket with a bottle of champagne and next to it was an antique crystal vase with a huge bouquet of long-stemmed red roses.

"Oh!" Abbey said again. "Oh wow!"

Jed smiled as he closed the door behind him. "Well, you're always telling me that I'm not romantic enough–"

Abbey turned to him, shaking her head slightly. "How on earth–?"

"Don't ask," Jed said, putting his arms round her and drawing her to him. He leaned forward to kiss her lips gently and then their kiss deepened as she opened her mouth to him and they both enjoyed the gentle and unhurried pleasure of being alone together at last.

"So what was all that about being tired?" Abbey asked eventually.

Jed grinned. "You started it."

"And you agreed – you made me think–"

"Yes I did," he said with a smile.

"You played along with it!"

"Yeah. It made it more fun when we opened the door."

Abbey laughed. "You know, even after all these years, you can still surprise me."

"There you go, babe! That's the man you married – for better or worse."

"Definitely for better."

Jed grinned. "Want some champagne? It's Krug Grande Cuvée."

He led her towards the couch, taking off his jacket as they went and loosening his tie. Abbey sat down then leant forward to smell the roses while Jed poured the champagne.

"These are heavenly," she said. "And they sure aren't from the White House Rose Garden!"

"In January? I don't think so!" Jed said with a laugh as he handed her a glass of champagne and sat down beside her. Then he held his glass up towards hers. "To us, sweetheart."

Abbey clinked her glass against his and her eyes met his. "To us."

"It's been a hell of a couple of days," Jed said after he'd sipped some champagne.

"Yeah." She looked round at him. "But we've survived it, Jed." Then, "No," she said suddenly, "_you've_ survived it, my love. You've got through the flu without any relapse. You've sorted things out with Leo. You've stopped India and Pakistan from launching into nuclear war – and you've just given a State of the Union speech that will go down in history as one of the best ever." She paused and then smiled. "I'm so proud of you, Jed."

Jed gave her his self-deprecatory grin then chuckled. "You aiming to increase my ego to the size of Texas now? Not that I'm complaining, you understand?"

Abbey laughed and then leant back against the couch, her face serious again. "Are we really going to be able to keep this thing under wraps for the next three years, Jed?"

He looked at her for a moment, then shrugged slightly. "I don't know." Leaning back with her, he slipped his arm round her shoulders. "I guess we've been lucky this time – just a minor blip that everyone accepted as being the flu."

"Except Leo."

Jed nodded. "Yeah – but then he's known us longer than anyone else here."

"So who's gonna notice something next time, Jed?"

"Next time?"

"You know as well as I do that there'll be a next time."

"Yeah. But if it's as mild as this was?"

"It might not be. Then what?"

"Then we'll face it as and when we have to. But there's no point worrying about it, sweetheart. And definitely no point even thinking about it tonight."

She looked round at him and smiled. "No, you're right. It's just that I can't help wondering–"

"Hey, hey, hey–" He turned and put his hand under her chin, lifting her head as he leant forward to kiss her lips gently. "Not tonight, huh?" he went on. "Tonight we're celebrating – oh, and that reminds me–"

He stood up and went across to the hi-fi unit and clicked the button, stopping Sinatra mid-way through 'Night and Day'.

"What are you doing?" Abbey asked. "I like that song."

Jed glanced round at her. "I think you'll like this one even better."

He picked up the CD that lay at the side of the unit, at the same time reminding himself that he needed to thank Charlie for following his instructions to the letter. He slid it into the machine, then looked round at her again and held out his hand. For a moment, Abbey was puzzled, not recognising the intro to the song. Then she smiled as Roberta Flack began to sing:

_Tonight I celebrate my love for you__  
It seems the natural thing to do..._

She stood up and moved the few steps towards Jed who put his arms round her as the song went on:

_Tonight no one's gonna find us __  
We'll leave the world behind us  
When I make love to you..._

Abbey laid her head against Jed's shoulder and he held her even tighter as they swayed together on the spot. Jed felt a warm glow of pleasure, knowing that the song was saying everything that he couldn't possibly put into words. Because no words could ever describe the depth of love that he had for her, this beautiful, intelligent, feisty, challenging – and wonderfully loving and sexy – woman with whom he shared his life.

_Tonight there'll be no distance between us __  
What I want most to do, is to get close to you  
Tonight I celebrate my love for you – tonight_

As the song ended, Abbey looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears. "I love you, Jed – I love you so much."

In answer, he brought his mouth down on hers and kissed her with a tenderness that almost took her breath away.

When he eventually released her, he looked down at her. "I was thinking that maybe I needed a shower before bed," he said, his casual tone betrayed by the teasing look in his eyes. "Care to join me?"

"I was thinking just the same," she answered lightly then smiled. "Come on, boyfriend!"

A few minutes later, they stood together under the warm water of the shower. Jed pulled Abbey close to him, loving the feel of her softness next to him. With one arm wrapped around her back, his other hand roamed her warm wet body, sometimes with his fingertips, sometimes with his palm, almost as if he was exploring it for the very first time. It wasn't intended to be deliberately arousing, but it was such a gentle and tender exploration that Abbey closed her eyes, feeling herself melting against him. As she laid her head against his shoulder and brought her hand up to his chest, Jed leaned forward to kiss her.

Suddenly he yelped. "Agh–"

Abbey opened her eyes. "What?" Then she started laughing. His hair was wet through and water was dripping down his face.

"I misjudged the shower spray," he said with a grin, "and got a face full!"

As his hand wiped the water from his face and he shook back his wet hair, Abbey reached to turn off the shower and then slid open the door to stretch for one of the thick white towels.

"Here," she said, handing it to him as she stepped out of the shower and grabbed another towel, wrapping it around her.

"Spoilsport!" Jed laughed as he too stepped out, rubbing his face and his hair with the towel.

Abbey turned to him. "Yeah?" she said, raising her eyebrows and giving him her seductive look. "How about this then?"

She took his towel from him and started to rub him dry, beginning with his shoulders and moving down to his chest. As she moved the towel lower, drying his stomach and hips, Jed looked at her, his blue eyes soft with desire.

"Abbey–"

She looked up at him under her lashes, with that wonderful smile on her lips. "You want me to dry you any further down?"

Jed put his hand on the side of the shower stall to steady himself. "You can dry me anywhere you want to, sweet knees."

Then he drew in his breath as Abbey knelt down on one knee, bringing the towel down to his groin and thighs. At the same time as she was drying his leg, she bent her head forward and brought her mouth around his hard erection.

"Oh God," Jed groaned, his head going back involuntarily as his put his hands on either side of her head, his fingers wrapping themselves around tendrils of her hair.

She was drying his other leg and at the same time sending him insane with her mouth, until Jed knew that unless he stopped her, he would lose it completely.

"Abbey–" he said desperately.

She moved away from him and looked up. "What?"

"Bed?"

"Your back's still wet."

"To hell with my back!" He pulled her to her feet and then, with his arms wrapped around her, he propelled her in front of him back towards the bedroom. Within a couple of seconds he'd loosed the towel that she'd draped round herself, letting it fall to the floor, and brought his hands up to her breasts, cupping one with his full hand whilst his fingers teased the nipple of the other. Drawing in a sudden deep breath, Abbey stopped, leaning back against him, and enjoying the delicious sensations that his hands were sending through her. Jed leaned forward slightly and started to nuzzle her shoulder and then her neck.

"I think my knees are gonna give way!" she whispered eventually.

He straightened up and smiled. "We need our bed, don't we?"

"Yeah."

"Okay"

Seconds later they were on the bed and Jed was continuing his slow arousal, trailing soft kisses from her mouth to her throat and then to her breast, enjoying her beautiful body that was as familiar to him as his own, delighting in the small sounds she made that were halfway between a gasp and a moan, and loving the way her hands were moving constantly around his back and shoulders.

As his mouth closed on her nipple, her hand went up to grab at the back of his head and her body arched towards his. And then she relaxed back against the pillow with a small sigh, closing her eyes and surrendering to the warmth that was coursing through her veins.

Jed smiled as his tongue caressed her nipple. He always loved the moment when he sensed her surrender. There were times when she took control and he loved that too. But tonight he wanted to give her everything that she needed.

Slowly he moved his hand down her body, his fingertips fondling her belly then her groin and thigh. As her hips lifted invitingly, he slid his fingers between her legs. She gasped and then gave a low moan. "Oh, that's so good..."

Jed lifted his head from her breast and looked at her, as his fingers continued to stroke her most sensitive place. His heart contracted as he watched her, totally lost, her head moving from side to side on the pillow. "Let go, sweetheart," he whispered.

"Jed–" She was struggling to bring herself back.

"Let go," he said again, gently, slipping his arm around her. "I love watching you come like this."

"I'm not – I can't–" She was almost incoherent now as the warmth inside her started to increase, like the ripples from a stone thrown into a pool, until it filled her whole body, until all her nerve endings started to tingle, until she was clutching at him almost desperately. "Oh God – oh – oh – yes – don't stop–"

Jed held her there on the edge for as long as she could take it, and then as her cries rose, and her breathing became short and ragged, he quickened his strokes, felt her body tense and then jolt fiercely. Her cry of "Je-ed!" stirred everything inside him as her climax exploded and she gasped as the aftershocks shuddered through her body.

He held her tightly as she slowly descended, still gasping slightly with every exhaled breath until eventually she was at peace. He looked down at her, loving her so much that he thought his own head and heart were going to explode.

When she finally opened her eyes, he smiled at her. "Welcome back," he said softly.

She smiled back up at him through satisfied green eyes. "That was heaven."

"The evening ain't over yet," he said with a grin.

Abbey laughed. "So much for you being tired after your hard day,"

He rested his head on his hand, still looking down at her. "Just pray that Fitzwallace doesn't call me down to the Sit. Room at 3 a.m."

"I'm gonna set the alarm for eight o'clock tomorrow – we can say you're still recovering from the flu – or from the State of the Union."

"I ought to be down there, you know? The staff will still be in the West Wing – analyzing all the results coming in from the polls."

"And that's why you have staff, Jed – so that they can take care of all that."

"While I make mad passionate love to my wife all night?"

Abbey laughed. "Sounds like a good idea to me!" Then she glanced over his shoulder. "Shouldn't we blow all those candles out – before we set fire to the White House?"

"You gonna run out with Washington's portrait like Dolley Madison did when the Brits burned the White House then?"

"If I had to run out of here, it would be with my make-up and my medical bag!" Abbey replied.

"And some clothes on you, I hope?" Jed said with a laugh.

Abbey's eyes studied him. "What would you take if we had to get out of here in a hurry?"

"You," he said.

She grinned. "No – I mean – of all the priceless things there are in this place – what means most to you?"

"Abbey, it's well past midnight – and you expect me to start thinking about things like that?"

"Okay – the first thing that comes into your head then – after me, I mean?"

Jed thought for a split second. "The Resolute Desk – though I'm not sure I could actually carry it out on my own. Leo would have to help me."

Abbey laughed at the mental image of them struggling with the solid oak desk. "Okay, I can see I'm not gonna get any sense out of you tonight. Do you want to blow all those candles out, or shall I?"

"I'll do it."

She watched him as he got out of bed and went round the room blowing out all the candles. Seeing him walking around naked was turning her on again.

As he came back to the bed, she leant over and switched on the bedside light. When he lay down beside her again, she turned towards him. "It's my turn now," she said softly.

Her mouth came down on his at the same time as her hand went down to hold him and then to stroke him back to hardness again.

"Abbey–" Jed groaned.

She smiled. "Just hack it, babe. Two can play at this game."

Within minutes, Jed was as helpless as she had been earlier. Then, when her hand stilled, he looked round at her, his blue eyes connecting with hers.

"I need you, Abbey," he said.

"I need you too."

Jed lifted himself over her and slowly slid into her. "Oh God, that's good," he breathed as he felt her enclosing him with her warmth. For a few moments he stayed motionless, loving as he always did this ultimate closeness with her. Then, as he slowly pulled out and moved into her again, Abbey's body responded with the same movement, her hips rising up to take him deep inside her.

It only took a few more moments before Jed was totally lost, his own body taking over as he thrust into her. But even as he lost coherent thought, he sensed the moment that Abbey was with him, rising up to another climax as he went into her over and over again. As she gripped his shoulders with a simple, almost surprised, cry of 'Oh!' the contractions inside her pushed him over the edge too. The release, when it came, was pure heaven as he spilled himself into her with relief and an indescribable feeling of joy.

Then he collapsed on to her, gasping for breath as she was too, their hearts still thumping as they slowly descended to earth again. Aware of his weight on her, Jed lifted himself – smiling as he heard her usual small sigh of protest when he slipped out of her. Rolling over on to his side, he raised himself on his elbow to look down at her. She lay there relaxed, eyes closed, a small smile on her mouth, still totally out of it.

Leaning forward, he kissed her mouth gently. "I love you so much," he whispered.

"Mmm," she moved to snuggle closer to him and Jed leaned back against the pillow and put his arm under her shoulders.

Lying there, he thought of the last couple of days then started to smile.

"Ipse, ab tempore ad tempus–" he said, almost to himself. Yeah, he thought – there'd be another State of the Union, another crisis to solve – and another MS attack...

"You gonna start talking Latin to me now?" she sighed, her eyes still closed.

"D'you know what it means?"

"Haven't a clue – something about time?"

"He shall from time to time..."

Abbey turned towards him, opened her eyes and smiled lazily. "From time to time means once a year for the State of the Union – you'd better make damn sure that doesn't also apply to making love."

Jed grinned. "Not a chance," he said. "The word for that is 'saepe'."

"Meaning?"

"Often."

"That sounds okay to me."

With a small sigh, she turned on to her side, and Jed turned too, smiling as he put his arm around her, resting his hand under her breasts.

"Night, sweetheart," he said gently.

"Night, honey," she replied sleepily.

The End (Postscript to follow)


	10. Postscript

Jed's adrenaline was running high as he walked the portico towards the Oval Office on the morning following the State of the Union speech. Over breakfast he and Abbey had flicked from C-SPAN to CNN to NBC and a myriad of other channels – and the words 'challenging', 'positive', 'far-reaching' – even 'inspirational' and 'electrifying' – were voiced over and over again.

But that was not the only reason for his good humour. He'd been awoken early by Abbey sliding her hand down his chest, and even before he had opened his eyes, locks of her silky hair were falling over his face as she lent over him to bring her mouth down on his.

Forcing his eyes open, he'd looked up into inviting green eyes. "More?" he asked with a grin.

She returned the grin. "You complaining?"

"Definitely not!"

"So?"

In reply, Jed put his hand behind her head and pulled her down until their lips met again in a long sensuous kiss that left them both aroused and needing more...

--

Now, after a cheerful greeting to the agents outside the door to the Oval Office, Jed started looking through the folders that Mrs Landingham had left on his desk. He found himself humming Sinatra's 'Old Black Magic', breaking into the words of '_icy fingers down my spine_' and smiling to himself.

Outside the open door of the Oval Office, Charlie glanced across at Mrs Landingham who was pouring coffee into the President's mug.

"The President seems to be in a very good mood this morning, Charlie."

"Yeah – and my guess is that it's not just because it was a good State of the Union, Mrs Landingham."

Mrs Landingham looked over her glasses at him. "Is there something you're not telling me, Charlie?"

Charlie grinned. "Sorry, Mrs L – can't disclose, it was an executive order."

"I don't think you should be grinning like that, Charlie," Mrs Landingham scolded gently.

Charlie straightened his face. "It was man to man, Mrs Landingham."

"I'm sure it was." Her voice said it all. "Now, would you like to take his coffee in for him – and stop him singing that silly song?"

"It's Sinatra's 'Old Black Magic'."

"I've been with him long enough to know ALL Sinatra's songs, Charlie. Just take the coffee in, dear."

Charlie took the mug from her and went into the Oval Office.

The President was still singing. "_Down and down I go, round and round I go, like a something that's caught in the_ – oh, morning, Charlie."

"Leaf," Charlie said as he put the mug of coffee on the Resolute Desk.

"What?"

"_Like a leaf that's caught in the tide_."

Jed looked at him in surprise. "You're a young man, Charlie. I thought you'd be into the Foo-Fingers or Plum Jam – not Sinatra."

"Foo-Fighters and Pearl Jam? Not my scene. Anyway, my Mom was a Sinatra fan – I was brought up on Sinatra."

Jed nodded. "That explains a lot." He picked up his mug of coffee. "And er – thanks for – er – organising things last night, Charlie."

"Was everything – um – to your satisfaction, sir?"

Jed raised amused eyes from his coffee. "Oh yes – very definitely. And where the hell did you manage to get those roses from?"

"Carmen's House of Flowers, sir – it's the White House's usual supplier."

"At eight thirty in the evening?"

"Say the words 'White House' to Carmen and she'll produce a White Bolivian Fuchsia if you ask for one!"

"A White Bolivian–? _Is_ there such a thing?"

Charlie grinned. "I don't know, sir – you want me to check it out?"

"Not really. But anyway, thanks, Charlie. Oh – and by the way, Zoey likes roses too."

"Yes, sir." Charlie's dark skin hid the blush that rose to his cheeks, but he had caught the twinkle in the President's eyes.

"So – what do we have today?"

"The staff want you to look at last night's polls – oh, and Leo asked for a quick word with you before the staff meeting."

Jed glanced at his watch. "Okay." He put the coffee mug down on the desk and started to move towards the door of Leo's office, then looked back at his body man with a grin. "And thanks again, Charlie."

Leo looked up as his office door opened and then stood up. "Mr President."

"Sit down, Leo." It still amazed him at times that his old friend always observed all the protocol afforded to the President. "Charlie said you wanted a quick word."

"Yeah, I've scheduled a half hour for you with Fitz."

Jed frowned slightly. "Something's happened with India and Pakistan?"

"Nope, situation's still the same there – India's withdrawing."

"So why–? Oh." Realisation dawned.

"You remember what we talked about yesterday morning?"

"Yeah. I was just – well, I thought that maybe–"

"You thought that maybe if you put it off long enough, it would go away."

Jed gave him a sheepish grin. Leo knew him too well. "Yeah, I guess so. Okay, Leo, what time?"

"Eleven thirty – in the Oval Office."

Jed nodded and returned to the office, no longer singing but starting to go over in his mind just what he was going to say to the Chair of the Joint Chiefs. Even during the morning staff meeting, his mind was only half on the dial up results, the overnight polls and the press headlines and comments that his staff was eagerly discussing. Coupled with the American influence on the Indian withdrawal, the approval rating had hit 65.

At the end of the meeting, however, he remembered that he needed to call Josh and Sam back. "I want you to start investigating a deal," he said to them once the door had closed behind the other staff.

"A deal, sir?" Josh's eyebrows had risen.

"Yeah – whatever you can find that will stop Leo having to go to a hearing. It might have slipped off the front pages after yesterday, but they'll be back for blood – and I'm not having that."

Sam grinned his approval. "We'll find something, sir."

"Something we can put in the drawer for a while?" Jed suggested.

"Yes, sir." Sam glanced at Josh who nodded.

"Yeah, we can do that, sir."

"Okay – oh, and would you ask CJ to come back for a few minutes, I need to talk to her about the Lydells."

The morning was taken up with the immediate minutiae of the day and it wasn't until a quarter past eleven that Jed had a short breathing space.

He sat down at the desk in the Oval Office and called Abbey's office.

"65 and still rising – you did well there, boyfriend!" she said with a laugh in her voice. "But you still get a hundred and ten percent from me."

Jed grinned. "Only ten percent over?"

"Well, I _could_ be persuaded to up that percentage–"

He laughed. "Special garments get extra points from me, you know!" Then his voice changed. "Listen, Leo's fixed a meeting for me with Fitz in fifteen minutes – and I'm not sure how I'm gonna play it."

Abbey's voice lost its teasing tone too. "You just gotta tell him the truth, Jed."

"Yeah."

"D'you want me to come across?"

"No, it's okay. I'll handle it. Guess it all depends on how much Fitz knows about MS."

"He'll go away and do his research like Leo did."

"And then he'll wonder about my mental state every time I'm in the Situation Room." Jed said with a trace of bitterness then heaved a sigh. "I know that Leo's right – I know that he should be told, but I'm not looking forward to it." He hesitated then went on, voicing his fears, "What if he thinks that the other Chiefs should be told – and Nancy McNally too?"

Abbey hesitated too. "I'm not sure how to answer that, Jed. How would you feel about that?"

"The more people who know, the more chance there is of it breaking before we're ready for it."

"Yeah." She knew all the reasons for Jed's fears – even before he'd voiced them the previous day when he'd talked about people seeing past his disease to him as a person. But, with her medical experience, she knew that only too often that was the only thing that people saw. She'd seen her heart patients wrapped in cotton by their families, instead of being allowed to continue their lives; she'd seen the frustration of wheelchair patients being ignored as all conversation was directed at their carers, instead of at the patients themselves; and she knew too that MS was so misunderstood generally that many people treated those with the disease as invalids when all they wanted was to lead as normal lives as possible. "Look," she said, "see what Fitz has to say first huh? If he wants it to go further, then tell him you'll think about it. Then you and Leo can discuss it and make the decision."

Jed nodded. "Yeah, that was that conclusion I was reaching too." He glanced round as the door from Leo's office opened. "Gotta go, honey – they're here."

"Call me afterwards, Jed."

"Okay."

Jed put the phone down and stood up as Leo came into the office, followed by Admiral Fitzwallace, resplendent as ever in his uniform. Jed knew that protocol demanded the full dress uniform but wished at the same time that he didn't find it so intimidating.

"Morning, Fitz – what's happening in Kashmir this morning?"

"Well, it's evening now over there, sir – and although there have been hundreds of messages during the day from the Pakistan front line commanders back to their government, they're still holding their line."

"And the Indians are still withdrawing?"

"Yes, sir." Fitz glanced round at Leo and Jed knew that he was wondering why he had been summoned to the Oval Office to report on something that would normally have been a standard Situation Room conversation.

He walked round the Resolute Desk and beckoned Fitz across to the couch. ""Take a seat, Admiral. There's something that I need to tell you."

As he sat down across from Fitz, Jed glanced quickly at Leo who had remained standing then looked back at the Chair of the Joint Chiefs. "I realise now that this is something that you should have known the minute I set foot in this office – my Chief of Staff has pointed that out very clearly to me – but since it's something that he himself has only known for two days, I take full responsibility for failing to inform you when I should have done so."

"Sir?" Fitz's face remained impassive and for a split second Jed wondered just what was going on in his mind.

"Before I go on, I need to ask you something. How do you feel about knowing – and keeping – a secret?"

"Mr President, I'm in the armed forces, I've been privy to and have kept secrets for most of my working life."

"Okay – well, I guess I'm gonna ask you to keep another one – although I will, of course, respect your decision if you feel that this is something that you cannot keep to yourself."

"So long as you haven't sent any burglars into the Watergate hotel, sir, I think I can probably accept that whatever it is has been done with the best of intentions."

"Yeah, well, maybe not everyone will see it that way," Jed said ruefully.

Concern and uncertainty flashed through Fitz's eyes at the same time. "With respect, Mr President, shouldn't you be having this conversation with the White House counsel?"

"No, this is a personal matter." Jed drew in a deep breath and looked the other man straight in the eye. "I have MS, Admiral."

Fitz's dark eyes rested on him. "MS?"

"Yes. I assume you know–"

"Yes, sir. Multiple Sclerosis."

Jed nodded. "In my case, it's the relapsing-remitting type, which means that I should experience full recovery between attacks. It was diagnosed seven years ago, and in that time I've had four or five attacks, none of which have had any lasting effects."

Fitz nodded slowly. "Relapsing-remitting is the good sort of MS, sir. In contrast to the secondary progressive."

"Yeah," Jed replied, then looked sharply at the Admiral. "You seem to know more than most people do about it."

Fitz returned his look. "Yes, sir. My sister has MS."

"Ah." Jed leant back against the couch, not knowing whether to feel relieved or not by this unexpected revelation. "Okay. Tell me about her."

"Well, sir, she started with some numbness in her arm – and then some problems with her sight – things getting blurry – but it took a couple of years to get the full diagnosis."

Jed nodded. "Yeah, same here – except it was my leg not my arm." He was starting to feel some of the tension leaving him, knowing that Fitz knew and understood the disease. "So she got a relapsing-remitting diagnosis too?"

Fitz shook his head. "No, sir. Lillian went almost straight away into secondary progressive."

Jed's eyes widened. "What happened?"

"Her left arm remained virtually paralysed after a bad attack, sir – and about five years ago, her left leg too. She has to use a cane now."

"Is she coping?"

Fitz grinned. "Mr President, she's the chair of the local MS group and organises seminars, social evenings and fundraising events almost every week, she's the church treasurer and sings in the church choir – and she's just come back from a cruise up the Amazon. I'd say she was coping fine, wouldn't you?"

Jed chuckled. "I sure would. How old is she, Fitz?"

"Sixty-five last November."

"And all her symptoms are physical?"

Fitz nodded. "So far, yes. But she's aware – as I'm sure you are – of the possible effects on cognitive functions."

"Yeah," Jed said briefly and drew in his breath. "Language processing, concentration and short-term memory – and then impaired intellectual reasoning and judgment."

"With respect, sir, I would suggest that all of us when we reach our sixties can experience all of that, with or without MS. I have a pretty good command of language but there are times when I have to search for a word I want to use–"

Jed broke in. "You didn't have any problem with 'egregious'!" he said with a grin. Fitz looked puzzled and, after a quick glance at Leo, Jed went on, "My Chief of Staff had to look that up in the dictionary – and he's only in his fifties!"

Fitz smiled. "Military terms are second nature to me, sir. But my wife tells me I have the concentration span of a goldfish when she's trying to tell me something! And I think we can all say that we can easily remember things that happened forty years ago – even details of conversations – but you ask me what I said last week to Nancy McNally, and I wouldn't have a clue."

Jed started laughing. "And if Abbey was here, I'm sure she'd totally agree with you there! She tells me where she's going the next day or the next week, and then despairs of me when I don't remember what she's told me."

"That's age – or a mind that's occupied with many other things, and not MS, sir."

Jed nodded. "Yeah, but–" he hesitated then went on, "what about impaired reasoning and judgment?"

Fitz looked at him steadily. "Mr President, if I ever suspected that you were being irrational or were displaying dysfunctional cognitivity, I'd tell you to get the hell out of my Situation Room, make no mistake about that. But in the meantime, my job is to serve the United States of America – and its elected President. And I shall continue to do so, to the best of my ability."

Jed drew in a deep breath. "Thank you, Fitz," he said in a voice that was suddenly choked with emotion. "I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate that."

"Just remember, sir, MS doesn't necessarily lead to cognitive problems – and, judging by the infrequency of your episodes, you still have a long way to go before your relapsing- remitting develops inside secondary-progressive – if it ever does."

Jed nodded and paused for a few moments before he went on. "But I now need to go back to the real issue which I mentioned to start with–" He glanced across at Leo. "And this includes you too, Leo – so will you please come and sit down while we talk this through." He waited until Leo had sat down on the couch next to Fitzwallace and looked at them both. "Until two days ago, the only people who knew about this were my family and my personal physicians."

"And John Hoynes," Leo interjected.

"And John Hoynes," Jed agreed. "I had to tell him when I asked him to be my running mate, Fitz. But the point I want to make is this – I have never lied, and I have never asked anyone else to lie. And I'm not going to start asking anyone to do that either. But what I _am_ asking you both is whether you are prepared to keep this thing to yourselves for as long as it's humanly possible? Fitz, Leo already knows my reasons for this – but to put it briefly, I'm well aware that MS is seen by many as a disabling disease – and I don't want the White House staff – or even worse, the American public – to start thinking that I am incapacitated or that I can't handle the job. From a professional point of view, I want to be seen as a President who can make things happen – and from a personal point of view, I want live a normal life for as long as this disease allows me to. I'm also aware that the decision that Abbey and I made several years ago to keep this thing under wraps could be construed by some as unbelievably stupid, even as totally wrong – but we made that decision and we now have to live with it. Am I making any sense to you, Fitz?"

"Sir, I'll remind you of what I said earlier – which was that I could probably accept that whatever it was, it had been done with the best of intentions. And I have no reason whatsoever to retract that statement." He paused momentarily. "If I may mention my sister again, sir–"

"Yes, of course. Say whatever you need to say, Fitz."

"When Lillian first started with her symptoms, she was the Dean of Baltimore College – and she too concealed the fact that she had been diagnosed with MS. Fifteen years ago, her reason was that the disease was even more misunderstood than it is today and that she would immediately have been pressured to resign. Sadly, as you've already pointed out, sir, we haven't made a lot of progress on that score despite the best efforts of the MS Society to re-educate the public – there's still a lack of understanding as well as negative attitudes towards the disease and people with MS are still seen by many as invalids." Fitz paused for a moment then smiled. "But Lillian's favourite saying is 'I'm Lillian Healey – look at me and not at my disease.'"

Jed glanced quickly at Leo, remembering how he had used almost the same words the previous day. Slowly he nodded his head. "She said it right there, Fitz."

"Yes, sir. And when I look at you, I'm looking at Josiah Bartlet, and not at MS."

"Thank you, Fitz." Jed had to bite his lip hard and then turned to Leo. "Leo?"

"I think that Fitz has said everything more than adequately, sir – and I'm happy to agree with him one hundred percent."

Jed stood up. "I'm very grateful to you both."

As he reached to shake Fitz's hand, the Admiral looked at him. "I'm proud that you felt that you could trust me with this, sir."

Jed nodded and then had to look down as Fitz turned to leave the Oval Office. When he'd gone, he turned to Leo. "I – I'd like a few minutes alone, Leo."

Leo nodded. "Yes, sir."

Once on his own, Jed sat down again and leaned back against the couch, blinking rapidly to force back the tears that had flooded to his eyes. Never in a million years could he have anticipated the depth of understanding from Admiral Fitzwallace – and at the same time a wave of relief swept through him. If only, he thought, if only everyone else's reactions could be the same...But he knew that was a vain hope.

After a minute or so, while he collected himself, he stood up and crossed to the desk, picking up the phone and hitting the buttons that would connect him to Abbey's office.

"Abbey," he said when she answered, "I need to see you."

"Now?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, honey."

After he'd put the phone down, Jed walked across to the door to Leo's office.

Leo was standing by the window and turned when the door opened. "Sir?"

Jed knew at that moment that Leo had been affected as emotionally as he himself had been.

"It was okay, wasn't it?"

Leo smiled. "Yes, sir. It was totally okay,"

"I mean, we couldn't ever have known about Fitz's sister – or that he would have understood so much–"

"Yeah, that was a real bonus."

"Having MS can never be called a bonus."

"That wasn't what I meant."

"No, I know it wasn't. The bonus was Fitz's understanding of all the implications."

Leo nodded. "Yeah." He gave Jed his lopsided grin. "Though I still can't see you taking kindly to him throwing you out of the Situation Room!"

Jed grinned too, then his face stilled. "If it ever comes to that, Leo, then you remove me forcibly, okay?"

Leo looked at him steadily. "Please God it never comes to that."

"Amen," Jed replied. He glanced back at the Oval Office as he heard the portico door open, then looked back at Leo. "Give me a few minutes, will you? I asked Abbey to come down."

Leo nodded. "Okay."

Jed went back into the Oval Office and closed the door behind him.

"Jed?" Abbey said. "Is this about Fitz? What happened?"

He moved across to her, put his arms round her and hugged her tightly. "It's okay," he breathed eventually. "Fitz understood – his sister has MS. It's okay."

Abbey smiled tremulously at him. "So you've cleared another hurdle."

"Yeah," Jed nodded then paused a few moments before going on, "Two days there were just twelve – suddenly there are two more. Who's going to be the fifteenth?"

"We'll face that hurdle when we reach it," Abbey said quietly...

**The End**


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